Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Have You Met My Breasts?

We attended the annual surgical residents graduation dinner recently and I have never seen so many breasts! They were everywhere. Even I couldn't help myself from staring. I would have been happy had a suckling child been attached to one, but these were just exposed breasts sitting atop dinner plates across the table from me.

I couldn't even tell you anything else about the dinner other than Boobs! Boobs! Boobs!

We had the good fortune or misfortune to sit at the back of the room. I didn't know any one there, and we attended because there is a mandatory department picture that takes place before. And who am I kidding? I love a free meal at a nice hotel without the children. What I didn't realize is that we would be sitting across from the largest and most exposed bosom in the entire room. Her name is the only one I remember, and it's not in a good way.

I looked around and boobs were falling out everywhere. I felt like a nun wearing a habit in comparison. Trying to be the classy doctors wife, and make a good impression, I wore a nice cocktail dress in an appropriate length with appropriate cleavage coverage and adequate support from chest to thigh. (I despise my own jiggle but love my body when it is compressed). Apparently if the weather is warm, clothing is optional particularly on the upper half. I didn't get that memo.

If you are going to let your girls hang out and be the star of the show (or dinner) you should treat them right and that means support! Especially if you are proud that they are real. The real ones need support the most. That goes for the young girls too. You might think they are perky, but you still should wear a bra. They make bras for every neckline. But most importantly, they should never, ever, sit directly atop the table.

If you have a large chest you might not be able to wear a dress off the rack. Find a good tailor and get the dress to fit. This particular woman was another doctor, not a resident, she should be able to afford a dress that fits or at least a tailor. Unless her plan was to make everyone in the room a wee bit uncomfortable. There are people like that.

This was an awkward dinner and one that I will never forget.

Except, now I remember another residency dinner from years gone by. Every year there is at least one person that wears something so inappropriate it is seared in your mind forever!

Please dress responsibly. A public service announcement from a doctors wife that doesn't want you to be forever known as the lady with exposed boobs sitting on dinner plates. You can do better.



  1. Haha, too funny! We have residency graduation tonight, and last night Hubby and I had a conversation about what I should wear. I proposed wearing a work-appropriate cocktail dress so that I wouldn't have to change after work and would still look dressy enough for the evening affair. Hubby said, "Any other options?" and then he proceeded to select a slinky dress from my closet that is usually reserved for date night. Now I am wondering how I'm going to feel changing into it in my office bathroom and sneaking out the door, hoping no one sees me! Luckily, the dress allows me to wear a normal bra, thank goodness!

    One thing I've learned over the years--doctors are not like other professionals when it comes to evening events. If they are in scrubs all day, by God, they are going to dress up and let everyone know how sexy they are when given the chance! So no frumpy lawyer cocktail dress for me tonight, I will be in full-fledged doctor mode!

  2. SERIOUSLY! We were at ours on Friday night and I felt the same way! This is not a case of "you've got it, flaunt it!" You are surrounded by people who normally see you in scrubs or clinic attire...this is not the time to "WOW" everyone with your bikini body!

  3. This seriously cracked me up. We just had our dinner as well, and it was the residents/wives that were dressed more appropriately than more than one attending's wife. They looked like they thought they were 20 years old and headed to the club's afterwards. Sad.

  4. We recently attending our residents' dinner and I used every measure possible to make sure my breasts could be found in their designated area. It was no easy task, I assure you. Pain was involved and the dinner lasted so long, I'm pretty certain I passed out for a few seconds here and there from lack of oxygen. Yet, mine were covered more than some of the female attendings!! Have you ever met a female attending with implants? Now, I can say I have! When do they even have the time?? I was baffled.


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