Friday, February 14, 2014

The Heart of the Matter

Happy Valentine's Day!

I can't remember the last time we celebrated Valentine's Day in a traditional way, if ever. Flowers, chocolates, dinner, and evening spent together looking into each others eyes. Ahhh. Yeah, it doesn't happen.

There have been flowers. But currently we don't have a flat surface to display flowers.

There is always chocolate, left on the bed with a card in the early morning before he leaves for the hospital.

We do eat dinner. Sometimes together. Seldom at a restaurant. Usually take out. Often alone.

I don't really mind anymore. It is what it is. We tried celebrating earlier in the week with a nice dinner out, but had babysitter difficulties. We need an on-call babysitting service! The next available night is sometime in March.

I think one of the more trying lessons that medicine has taught me is that you have to be flexible with your plans every day. You can't make a schedule that includes your spouse without forming a plan b and c. If a particular day is important to you you have to think about it in advance and have him take the day off even if those plans don't start until 7 pm. There is always a chance of a complicated case, or emergency that lasts longer than expected, and they always do. You also have to acquire a gambling spirit. You have to be prepared to get all dresses up knowing that there might not be anywhere to go. It is a risk we assume. Sometimes we win.

And then there is the problem of scheduling. The smaller the practice, the less flexibility. We have a tiny practice and the other surgeon is out of town. He was smart and took the weekend off to spend with his wife.... I mean he is at a conference. Maybe they purposefully planned a conference over Valentine's Day weekend so some doctors could have a nice romantic weekend, after the conference was done. Thankfully no emergencies at a conference and they know how to follow a schedule!

So how do we deal with it? I have no idea. Wouldn't it be great if holidays weren't fixed to the calendar and we could pick which days we wanted to celebrate and when? They could be treated like sick days, you take them when you need them or when you can get them. We could celebrate Christmas in April and Halloween in June. I doubt anybody would really go for it.

In the meantime we just try.  Or in our case we use whatever event is coming up to say this will be Valentine's Day. There is a medical conference coming up in a few weeks that we are going to together. Now it is also our Valentine's Day celebration and probably our Anniversary celebration too, just in case.

I am beginning to think that medical conferences serve multiple purposes. They serve as a excuse for a physician to get out of town, away from the demands of a hospital and patients, to spend a few uninterrupted hours in the evening with their spouses. Because to be honest, sometimes that it the only way that it can happen.

Lest anyone be concerned I love my husband madly.  So I am just praying today goes well and all his patients experience miracles so he can make it home in time for take out. Otherwise I am going to be watching Austenland all by myself AND eating all the chocolate!



  1. I find that Valentines is usually a nice dinner at home with the hubby and I'm satisfied with that. I have always been cheated out of Valentines anyway because my birthday is on the 16th. Sorry I have been slow with getting to the blogs on the hop this month but I will get to it this week.

  2. My schedule isn't as demanding as a doctor's, but I certainly believe in celebrating holidays on whatever day you want! Idk about Christmas in April though... Not quite the same. Last year my Christmas was the weekend after (complete with my brother and I opening presents in Jammies and the rest of the traditions...), and this year I celebrated thanksgiving the Sunday before, with friends, since no other family could make it (and I worked the whole holiday week of course). It's totally acceptable! Dates have lost much meaning (besides for planning my festive outfits), and it's fun to start something new on a different day, especially if it means multiple thanksgivings/valentines days... Plus I celebrate holidays for the whole month long regardless...... Happy vday! :)

  3. Ugh, I hear you! My husband is on an away rotation right now. I drove down to see him on Valentine's day and we had dinner at 9:00pm, when we're usually on our way to bed at that time. I was just happy to have gotten to do something! Low expectations ;)

  4. He left me a card, roses, and chocolate and I never saw him on the 14th. C'est la vie! He wrote the sweetest card and I made sure I ate all the chocolate before he got home so I wouldn't have to share. It all worked out just fine!! :)


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