Thursday, January 31, 2013

Don't Poke A Sleeping Bear

How many other ridiculous laws are there that I don't know about because they haven't applied to me yet? I'm not intending to have a political rally, but something is messed up here.

Yesterday I had my meeting with the Vice Principal about my perceived lack of interest in my children's education and, by so doing, contributing to their delinquency. They might not have said it, but it was implied when they sent that menacing letter.

To my surprise this wasn't a personal summons, it was a group summons! I was joined for an informative power point presentation (that she wasn't able to finish) by 20-30 other parents who looked equally irate. The exact number was hard to nail down as they kept trickling in and leaving. But no one was happy.

Do you know what your state/district policy is on attendance and what they consider to be an excused or unexcused absence? Might want to check. If nothing else it might be fun or informative.

I had to go back and look at my handout.... that's right handouts. She wanted to make sure there was no excuse for our ignorance in the future. Who is she talking to? Are we delinquents? Misfits? Criminals?

Might I point out that this information would have been invaluable before the start of the school year and much less effective at the mid-point. But that is my personal opinion - which you are not allowed to have, or so it seems.

A lot of the parents had questions about why they were here when they sent in notes. I was wondering that myself. Apparently, the notes are supposed to go directly to the office not the teacher. Why aren't the teachers directing the parents/students to send them to the office? Why are notes getting lost? It was a circus. A bureaucracy.

One of the attendees, a female physician, asked the question about illnesses. Her daughter had been sick. She is a physician and knew it was just a virus and didn't need to be taken to the doctor. Guess what? If she doesn't have a note, it is unexcused. No kidding. I bet this doctor will have a colleague write her notes in the future.

Not only that, if the child misses a day of school because they are sick and don't get into the doctor on the same day, that first day is not excused. It is an unexcused absence, but the following day that they do see a doctor would be excused. They don't treat the entire length of absence as the same absence. Insanity.

What I got out of the meeting is that this "office" is getting in the way of the relationship I have with the teacher. I go to the teacher to coordinate what goes on with my child in her classroom. What does the administrative office have to do with that? Well, they like to be involved in everything and the Vice Principal even went so far as to say we could email her with our notices of absences the day they happen and then follow up with a written letter when the child returns to school. But it needs to be done with 3 days of the absence or it is automatically an unexcused absence. Send the note in anyway even after 3 days just so there is documentation.

I held my tongue as long as I could. When people started getting up and leaving after an hour, she got the message and concluded by offering to take individual questions at her laptop if we needed. So I got in line like a good girl and asked her about the dates on my notice.

Partial Un-excused absence 1 - took child out of school 30 minutes early to leave for a weekend trip.
Partial Un-excused absence 2 - took child out of school 30 minutes early for doctors appointment.

Let me mention that I looked at my children's classroom schedule and determined they were not missing anything instructive at this particular time. And because the line to pick up my children at the end of the day can take 15-30 minutes to get through it wouldn't be possible to pick them up after school if I wanted to be on time for their doctors appointment. Any time missed between 8:15 and 2:45 is considered an absence. Ridiculous.

6 Unexcused full day absences - all taken to spend time with family. Notes written, received, and reason deemed unacceptable.

However, if my children had missed those days because someone died, was terminally ill, sick themselves (only with approved medical care and documentation), or celebrating a religious holiday would the absences have been excused. Those are the only 4 reasons an absence may be excused.

My question to her was short. "Do I understand that if my children miss 4 more days for any reason other than the 4 you have given, you will file charges?"

Her answer. "Yes. It's not my law, I just have to follow it. You can write your state representative."

My reply. "That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. I will be contacting your office to discuss another matter." By other matter I meant, let me show you who is in charge when it comes to me and my family. See, don't poke a sleeping bear - especially one with cubs!

Seriously. Yes, we need laws. But we have some really stupid laws. And for that matter, maybe we have too many of them! Do we really need state laws for public school attendance? I suppose they do for funding issues, and that is what this really boils down to. They are protecting their funding, and this situation proved that clearly. What is best for my child, and my rights as a parent aren't on the top of their list. Contributing to a happy child and healthy family relationships is not good for their bottom line.

So I am going to take her suggestion and write a few letters. I write when I am mad. I've noticed my blog posts are longer, too.

On the list today: Principal (not my pal), Vice Principal (certainly not my pal), District Superintendent, State Board of Education, State Representative, State Senator, and anyone else I can think of to add to my list. What do I expect to come out of it? Nothing. I will probably be labeled a trouble maker and put on a list of some kind.

This is the issue that gets me all hot and bothered. My children have spent their entire lives living away from family of any kind. They see their grandparents once a year. They have aunts and uncles they don't remember, and cousins they have never met. The school district would rather they miss school to attend funerals, than spend time with them while living. How is that in the best interest of these children or my family? Plain and simple: it isn't and they don't seem to care. They are just following the law and the law doesn't allow for taking situations case by case.

I don't think the law was designed for Kindergarten and 2nd grade students. As a parent if they were in middle school, or high school, we would have taken their subject load into consideration and probably made a different decision based on how they were doing, how much work they would miss, and if it would be possible to make up. If they were struggling with reading, writing, or math we might have reconsidered. But 6 days, or even 12 days, in early elementary education is not going to cause a learning deficiency in these children. I know my children. Heaven forbid we use our commons sense and look at the entire picture before pressing charges.

I haven't decided what my next move will be. I am thinking about taking them out of school on Friday so we can have a picnic and go to the museum just to be spiteful. Of course, I would send the vice principal an email and a note the following day. I might even include a smiley face. She said we had 9 days to "play-with" and since my kids don't get sick, we will choose to play and use every single one of those days however I see fit. They are my kids!

It's too late to get them into a private school, and I haven't even seen one close. My only option is to consider homeschooling for the last 4 months. I'm not convinced the school is doing any better than I could. My faith in them is completely lost.

As for the future. I made it clear to my husband that we would be looking for public school alternatives for next year. I can't support it, and we don't have to. The irrational behavior of one public school has turned me off of all public schools. It is a shame to run good families and good kids out of the system. I am starting to see why they are against school choice. Who would choose to stay?


Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Stop Messing With Me!

The universe picked a really bad week to mess with me.  But it has given me plenty to throw back out into the blogosphere! My husband will attest to that fact that this week has gotten off to a bad start as he has been the unfortunate recipent of my rage. The poor man hasn't done anything wrong, and would probably like to volunteer to take call every day this week. He may even be trying to arrange that as I type.

That's right this is the week! I totally forgot until the symptoms were too obvious to ignore. That special time in a young woman's life that repeats over and over again until they are no longer able to bear children. Why do these episodes seem to be getting worse?

However, I am not certain the only reason things seem to be particularly bad lately is because of PMS. You can be the judge.

Yesterday in my children's back packs I received a nice little letter threatening me with criminal charges. That's right! Me, the soccer mom only without the kids who play soccer - just the mom part.

This is what the letter said:

"We are concerned as your child has missed at least (3) days or parts of days this school year. If your child misses (3) days or parts of days in a four week period or ten (10) days or parts of days in a six-month period, without excuse, you are subject to prosecution for the Class C Misdemeanor charge of Parent Contributing to Nonattendance - punishable of a fine not to exceed $500.

The district's goal in contacting you today is to avoid taking legal action. Upon receipt of this letter you are requested at a conference scheduled on 1/30/13 at 9:00 am to discuss your child's attendance."

Seriously, my kids are 6 and 8 - they aren't playing hooky! I know exactly where they have been. I have been with them. And I have taken them out of school for a total of 6 whole days this entire year. And one day I picked them up one hour early for a doctors appointment. And every time I have had notes providing them with an excuse. What more do they want?????? Yes I am guilty!!!!!

I cannot believe this is really happening. Are the schools that short of funds that now they are resorting to fining parents who take their kids out of school? Is this my punishment for letting my children spend time with their grandparents? Is this my punishment for taking them out of school an hour early for a doctors appointment? Is this my punishment for contacting the teachers ahead of time to find out what assignments they need to complete? Is this my punishment for providing notes and documentation? If you need some cash, just send home an envelope asking for $1,000. I would probably be more apt to write the check than allow you to harass me over something as trivial as a few days of school.

Yes, I am sure it is inconvenient having to prepare the homework packet for me. Yes, I am sure it is somewhat disruptive, but they are my kids! They are well behaved, do their work, don't cause problems, and aren't a menace to the classroom. Unless of course the teachers and their report card is all a bunch of lies.

Only 5 more months at this school, but who is to say the next school is going to be better. Is there a school that lets me, the parent, really be in control of my children? I am getting so tired of the school telling me what to do. I am the parent for heaven's sake, not a criminal! Surely if the kid does all the work what is the problem?

This time next week you may read a post about how I pulled my kids out of their public education opting to homeschool instead. It looks better and better every day. If you can't tell I like to be in charge of the things I am supposed to be in charge of. I take my job pretty seriously.

Don't forget to check back on Monday's for the monthly installment of Medical Mondays. It is sure to be a bright spot after this week. Please come hang out with us, it will make my day:-)

My husband called on his way home from work, and offered to pick me up something to make me feel better. Code word: ice cream. He is also picking up pizza because I didn't make anything for dinner and it's nearly time to go to bed. I wonder why the kids didn't notice it was time for dinner. That's right. They wouldn't even get close to me. Maybe I am a negligent parent and should be fined or at least locked up for a while!


Monday, January 28, 2013

Boiling Blood - Don't Press Send

Things like this probably never happen to you.

I am involved in an organization of volunteers and just received an email that makes my blood boil, and I want to send what I drafted but know that I would regret it. And then I think, I only have to deal with her for 5 more months and it would feel so good to press send!

You know the kind of email I am talking about. The one that says all the things you are thinking in your head but you are too kind to ever say them. Yeah, it's that kind - and it has my heart racing and is putting red in my cheeks. And has for the last 30 minutes!

After drafting my blood boiling response I figured I had better come here before I accidentally press "send" and can't undo what I so badly want to do. Why must I possess such a degree of self control?

Actually, I am waiting for my husband to come home so he can talk me off the cliff because he is the diplomatic one. I am sure he will find a way to get my point across without coming across as a witch.

Last week this woman sent me and 10 other people in our volunteer group an email that was accusatory while still being polite. She is the kind of woman that I could never be friends with. She says mean things with a smile. She is a snake. I wouldn't trust her. EVER.

As I read through the email I knew exactly who she was talking about. She was talking about me! But instead of just telling me what I should do better, she thought sending out an email to the entire group was a better choice.

And then when someone asked me how I was doing later I brought up the email and that person told me that it was actually directed at someone else. How does that make it better exactly?

And then apparently she goes and tells this woman who sent the original email that I was put off by it and what does she do? She sends me another email telling me that "a direct approach isn't always an accusatory one". I want to tell her that is exactly what a direct approach is. If you have to tell me something tell it to me directly, don't include 10 other people who it doesn't apply to.

If you send it to me I can assume that it applies to me. Whether or not I actually need that correction is a matter of opinion. She is wrong.

I am thinking about taking a direct approach of my own and not even bothering with responding to the email but rather calling her, or showing up at her house. She doesn't understand direct! I wish I could to it without crying.... I cry when I get mad, especially when looking at the person I am mad at. I need to get that under control.

In the draft of my email I also remind her that I am a volunteer and if she doesn't like it I can leave.

Why must people be so ugly? She is the perfect example of passive aggressive, she will smile while stabbing you in the back. My husband said she reminded him of Professor Dolores Umbridge from the Harry Potter series.


Friday, January 25, 2013

Breaking News! Protracted Medical Training Spouse (SO) Burnout

I believe that I have just discovered a new syndrome that affects the spouses and significant others of those pursuing medicine. I have named it Protracted Medical Training Spousal Burnout or PMTSB.

My research has concluded that being married to a person involved in medical training can be detrimental to your health. The longer the training, the greater your chances of contracting this syndrome, PMTSB. Symptoms will be present in the majority of spouses (so's) at some point during training to varying degrees based on individual factors such as specialty, presence of children and number of, distance from family and friends, and general mental well-being.

The subject used for my research is yours truly, and has been substantiated by observations made among subjects that shall remain confidential.

The idea for my research first came to me while listening to the radio months ago. I was listening to NPR and heard a segment on Care Giver Burnout. I don't remember anything specific, other than the topic and that it sounded like I had all the symptoms they were discussing. Like a curious cat, I came home and started looking up information on Care Giver Burnout.  Lo and behold, I have that - and that isn't just my hypochondriac self speaking.

"Caregivers, individuals who care for the physical and/or psychological needs of others, often fail to recognize and meet their own needs. Being focused on tending to the day-to-day needs of others can cause one to ignore their own personal and emotional well-being. This is often a major factor that contributes to stress and other problems associated with caregiver burnout."(Source: Recognizing and Coping with Caregiver Burnout)

Do you fail to recognize and meet your own needs?
Are you focused on the day-to-day needs of others?
Do you often ignore your own personal and emotional well-being?

Let's consider the warning signs of Care Giver Burnout (source):

  • extreme fatigue, lack of concentration and insomnia
  • depression and loss of the ability to cope with everyday things
  • denial about the severity/outcome of illness
  • misdirected anger towards others, including the patient
  • general irritability
  • mood swings
  • withdrawal from activities and friends
  • lack of appetite
  • expression of anxiety about the future
  • general health problems, get sick more often

As I was reading through the burnout quiz that followed I quickly realized that many of the events that they use to determine care giver burnout apply to me often, or sometimes. 

Here is a review of the quiz. How would you answer? Seldom. Sometimes. Often.

  • I can't get enough rest
  • I don't have enough time for myself
  • I don't have time to be with other family members other than those that I care for
  • I feel guilty about my situation
  • I don't get out much anymore
  • I have a conflict with the person(s) I care for
  • I have conflicts with other family members
  • I cry everyday
  • I worry about having enough money to make ends meet

I can answer YES to most of the above.

The only problem is that the community at large would not recognize me as having that particular problem. After all, I do not provide primary care for an elderly person or a chronically ill child/spouse. The common outsider may scoff at my condition and claim that what I am experiencing is just part of motherhood and marriage, or that perhaps I am depressed. I contend that they are wrong!

As the primary caregiver and the person responsible for everything that happens outside the hospital, we don't get enough rest. No sleep leads to more irritability and general moodiness (some days there may even be crying). Our anger may be taken out on our children, family, spouse/so for minor infractions that under normal circumstances would be overlooked.

Most of the time the conflicts we have with our family members are one-sided. They don't know about the conflict! We are feeling alone, abandoned, wish they would visit more often, or could do more than offer "it will get better". We feel guilty about the feelings we have toward our family and friends who don't get the process and focus their reassuring comments on the future instead of the here and now. We withdraw and stop trying to explain.

We don't get out much because making new friends isn't what is used to be before medicine. The friends we could make might not be in medicine, and in a different phase of their life making common ground difficult to find. You know you have friends like that, they already have a job, house, car, vacations, - a lifestyle, and you are still living in an apartment in your mid-thirties trying to figure out how to clip coupons in between naps and Dora. And then coordinating schedules, lining up a babysitter, and paying for a night out or day out is nearly impossible. 

We worry about money constantly as every day we are further and further in debt waiting for our golden ticket. We are anxious about legislation and taxation that could impact our potential to pay off loans, buy a house, save for retirement, etc. We are nervous about exams, applications, interviews, matching, boards, conferences anything and everything that a) takes time away from the family or b) takes money away from the family. We worry a lot!

And then there is the weight gain/loss. We either forget to eat because our "clocks" are all messed up by a schedule that is forever in flux OR we eat all the wrong things at the wrong time. I am looking at three chocolate wrappers right now, and I am thinking about the ice cream in the freezer calling my name. And my favorite, is eating whatever you can find that will pass for nutrition because you don't feel like cooking because the kids don't care, and the doctor is eating at the hospital again. I have gone entire weeks without cooking before.

Being the spouse or s/o of a person who is pursuing medicine isn't easy. Our symptoms are often ignored or downplayed by the very people we would count on to provide support. They don't see the day to day struggles that we face, they are blinded by the end-results. The number of people who truly understand where we are coming from shrink with every passing year.

Perhaps I should present my findings to have Protracted Medical Training Spousal Burnout or PMTSB submitted as a recognized syndrome. It is real - I am living proof! 

So what do the experts recommend to cope with the burnout (care giver or PMTSB)? (Source)

  • Recognize the warning signs early
  • Make time for yourself
  • Set your own goals
  • Attend to your own health care needs
  • Become an educated caregiver
  • Ask for and accept help
  • Talk with someone about your feelings
  • Learn to communicate effectively with your physician

Are you starting to see how similar Caregiver Burnout is to Protracted Medical Training Spousal Burnout? It is pretty clear to me:-)

What can we learn about dealing with PMTSB?

Don't dismiss your feelings. They are not wrong, you are not weak, it is normal. Find someone to talk to that is going through the same thing. If you can't find someone geographically convenient, try finding support groups online. If you look hard enough you will find someone. If you don't find one that fits, start your own.

Support other spouses/so when you see/feel they may be struggling with the symptoms of PMTSB.

Don't be too hard on yourself (hard, I know).

Focus on what matters, and let the petty stuff take care of itself.

The good news is that Protracted Medical Training Spousal Burnout or PMTSB at this time is believed to be a temporary condition and it's symptoms may decrease over time once training is completed. This study is still ongoing. I will let you know if it is true next year as my research continues. 

On a very serious note: While I did not mention it specifically in this post, many of the symptoms of PMTSB are also common with depression. If you think you may be depressed, seek professional help. 

(Disclaimer: I am in no way making light Caregiver Burnout or Depression. I only seek to shine light on many of the similarities they share with the spouses and significant others of those pursuing medicine as their life long profession.)

Source related to care giver burnout


Thursday, January 24, 2013

Fictional Doctor

Today I am linking up with Medicine: A Love Story and answering the question "which fictional doctor is your significant other most like?"

The first doctor that comes to mind is Dr. Mc Dreamy from Grey's Anatomy. They are both neurosurgeons, but that is where the similarities end.

Maybe Dr. Doogie Howser, MD? Except my husband recently passed the 40 threshold - making it possible for him to be Doogie's dad, that one is a no-go.

How about Dr. Carlisle Cullen? Regardless of what your views are on the Twilight Saga, or Peter Facinelli, the character may be a good representation of who my husband is.
  • compassionate
  • protector of family
  • chooses the path of less confrontation
  • able to see both sides of a problem
  • calm and reasonable
  • thinks his wife is beautiful and amazing
  • finds the good in all of his "children"
  • likes the finer things
  • is the go-to guy for advice and help working out problems
  • can keep a secret

I am sure there are other similarities, but of all the possible fictional doctors in the world my doctor is Dr. Cullen. Oh, and he is good looking too!

Linking up is fun, and when you can't think of something you want to write about (just not yet anyway) it's a great way to get the juices flowing and think of something else. Head on over to Medicine: A Love Story and link up your post!

Medicine: A Love Story


Tuesday, January 22, 2013

You've Been Other Mothered

I gained 5 lbs, ate out for a week straight, didn't exercise once, have an entire 2 week dvr line-up to watch, and news to catch up on. I have no idea what is going on in the world. But I am back, I survived, and I will lose those 5 lbs, eventually. Does anyone else agree that it isn't fair that it can take 4 months to lose 5 lbs, but only 10 days to gain it all back? One of life's evil jokes.

But today's post is about something I've learned while watching Nick Jr. If you haven't heard of their evening programming called Mom's Night Out, I highly recommend setting your dvr to record it. It is funny!!! At the end of a long day that is really all I want. I stumbled upon it one evening after putting the kids to bed. I turned on the TV and it was on Nick Jr., but the program was obviously not meant for little ears. It is laugh out loud funny!!!! I love this show, and record it like an addict now so when momma needs a fix it is ready. Who doesn't enjoy real moms sharing things we all have dealt with and wish we could say to other mothers? The fact that they are comedians make it even better.

I went looking for a link for my favorite segment and to my amazement some of their viewers didn't like this new change in programming line up. What did they want to watch at 9:00 pm, more Dora the Explorer? So if you like things that no one else likes, or things that make those "other mothers" get their feathers all ruffled, this might be the program for you. And here is a perfect example of other mothering: what are you doing letting your kids watch tv between the hours of 10 pm and 2 am EST? Don't you know they are supposed to be in bed before 8:00pm! What kind of mother are you?

Other Mothering is when one mother passive aggressively (or not so passively) tells you that you are doing something wrong, and that their way is the right way - without saying you are wrong and they are right. Or that is the definition as I see it.

And I happen to know something about that topic because it happened at least three times that I mentally recorded. In this case it wasn't another mother directly, but it was a grandmother standing in for the mother. Lest there be any confusion I love my mother-in-law and have come to terms with the fact that she is in a very real way the second mother to her two other grandchildren who she spends a minimum of 10 hours a week with. I no longer begrudge that point, but have accepted it. I just don't like it when it invades her time with her other grandchildren that she sees once or twice a year.

Act 1
I am unloading my groceries of real milk, sugared cereal, bread, fruit snacks, corn dogs, etc from a national grocery chain.

GM: Susie has really been working hard to change their eating habits. She is always sharing some article with us about pesticides, farming practices, health benefits of xyz. They only eat organic meats, no dairy, no processed foods and the kids have gotten to the point where they call-out unhealthy food when they see it.  She is really doing a good job introducing them to new vegetables.

Act 2
As we are picking up my children from the local public school in our area.

GM: Susie is really impressed with the new school the kids are going to. They have uniforms, are studying classic literature in their K-5 programs, the kids have to memorize a new classic poem each week. I am amazed at the things they are learning. Susie volunteers in their class rooms, it is really an excellent school. They are so glad to have gotten out of the public school system.

Act 3
Watching my children "play" and work things out.

GM: Susie has learned some techniques for handling her children's disagreements. They have to sit with their feet together and look each other in the eye and tell the other person what they did that they didn't like and how it made them feel. And then the other person has to tell them how they feel, and then when they have shared their feelings they have to hug each other.

I am sure there was no malice meant in any of these situations, but I still find them to be hurtful. But not enough to say "please don't compare my groceries, schools, parenting, etc to anyone else". Since we don't see them very often, I let most of this stuff slide and come here for my therapy sessions.

And then I received a little satisfaction that may be enough to last the whole year.

As we were sitting down to our family breakfast of Lucky Charms, she took a picture on her phone to send to her other grand kids - showing our breakfast and how were getting off to school. They send back a picture of them eating donuts for breakfast. So much for non-processed, organic, healthy food only in our house BS. I know that donuts with sprinkles will never be considered a healthy organic option. Take that!

My husband just dropped the grandparents off at the airport and this is the first time I have had to sit down and do anything on my own - and that is the honest truth.  I put the baby down for a nap, put my preschooler in front of a movie, and jump on the computer to start working out in my head what has happened over the last 10 days. I am starting to feel like myself again.


Friday, January 11, 2013

I Am Not Ignoring You

I had all these great plans for posts this week but I have run into a small problem. We have company in the house. Our first visitors in our new city and while I thought that would mean more time to do what I want, in reality it means I have no time to do what I want.

My house is clean. I am well fed. My kids are happy. My husband is taking time off.

The only thing wrong with this picture is me.

Since we rarely have family visitors, the impression they form of me as a mother, wife, housekeeper, cook only has 1 week to take hold. I have set the bar really high, and I thought maybe this time I would let it "all hang out" and just live like we usually do, but I can't make myself do it. I can't. I seriously considered it, but it won't do. Maybe next time.

I actually like the way everything works for that week, it is just exhausting to keep up. It's a me problem.

See you sometime next week - when I will need to take a week off to recuperate.


Thursday, January 10, 2013

You Said What?

Today I am linking up with another medical support your loved one blog over at Medicine: A Love Story. A big thanks to her for giving me something to write about today, because what I had planned was just awful, and I might use it tomorrow. Her blog has only been up a few weeks, but so far I have found it delightful and I might have a little blog envy. It is beautiful, young, hip, full of life.... all of the things I am not:-)

The topic for the link up is strange conversations you've had as a result of sleep deprivation.

At our house my husband is in a perpetual state of sleep deprivation. Coupled with my rotating cycle of sleep deprivation in 1 year intervals over the last 8 years due to small children, and you have a couple that really could use an entire weeks vacation just to sleep. But my husband tells me that it is impossible to catch up on sleep and you can't make it up. Too bad, so sad.

Most of our evening conversations are:

H: snorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

M: (in my head) I wish he would stop snoring, I can't go to sleep with that noise. I really shouldn't wake him up because on a scale of sleep needs his is off the charts. But I know that he wouldn't want me to be kept  up by his snoring because he values my sleep more than his own.

H: snorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

While I can't pick out a particular "conversation" I will say that lack of sleep does impact his ability to remember actual conversations we have had. Some of them have been important. And then we get into the "I told you", "no you didn't" arguments in which I usually win. Important things now get texted to him as a permanent record so there is proof when the time comes. And it will.

Thank you Medicine: A Love Story for providing another platform to share our medical experiences and grow a community that thrives on connections with complete strangers (my favorite friends). Best of luck on your new blog!
Medicine: A Love Story

Monday, January 7, 2013

Medical Mondays Is Here!

Let's start this 2013 of with a BANG!
It's the first Monday of the month, so it's...

Medical Monday!
{listen to the roaring applause!}

Medical Monday is an opportunity for any and all medical/med life blogs to link up and meet others. So join us!

Are you confused if you qualify for the party?

Do you work in healthcare?
Doctor? Nurse? EMT? Chiropractor? Vet? Dentist? Therapist?
Are you the spouse or SO of a healthcare worker/student?
Are you a nursing student? Medical student?
Intern? Resident? Fellow?

You get the picture, right? 


Our once a month bloghop for bloggers like yourself, where we can build a community of support and friendship, learn from one another and share our stories.

Here are the rules:

  1. Follow your co-hosts via GFC.
  2. Link up you medical/med life blog. If your blog name does not clearly state how you fit in to the med/med life world, please write a little intro or link up a specific post which clearly demonstrates your connection.
  3. Visit at least 3 other link ups, comment, introduce yourself, and tell the your stopping by or following from MM!
  4. Help spread the word by using our button on your post or sidebar, tweet about Medical Monday, or spread the word on Facebook! The more the merrier for all of us!
And here's a helpful tip. . .

If you haven't turned of word verification, it's ON. Please turn it off. We'll all LOVE you!!
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Complete step one by following your co-hosts:

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Friday, January 4, 2013

Not Really Funny - Mental Snapshot

While perusing another blog this morning I was reminded of things as they were last year. I was blogging fairly heavily at that point, trying to maintain my sanity (yet again), so I knew the chances were good I had a post around the same day.

Viola! What do I find but a post about my resolutions for 2012 which was to be less angry. I suppose that goes along with the resolution for 2013 to be more positive. I will say that I feel less angry right now especially since all that yucky house stuff is behind me and the future looks pretty rosy. If you have been reading my blog for a while you know that process weighed me down. Now that the house is gone I feel much lighter. Especially when I think of just making a phone call to tell my landlord we will be vacating the house on 7/1/13 and we can just walk away. Ah, it makes me so happy - the feeling is priceless.

And then it got me thinking that changing attitudes and outlooks is really hard. Maybe change is hard because it goes against our true nature. Sometimes the best route is to not change but accept yourself just the way you are. I am not a ray of sunshine, glass half-full, look on the bright side kind of gal. I enjoy people who are, but I can't force myself to be someone I am not. I get there eventually, but only after some time looking at dark clouds, and empty glasses. I have to go through it before I can get to the other side. Yes, sometimes it takes a while.

This is one of the things I love about blogging: you get to know yourself better with every word you type. The other thing I love about blogging is meeting other bloggers who share the same interests or challenges/opportunities that I do.

Be sure to stop by Monday and link your blog with others who are on various stages in this journey we call medicine. Or is that supposed to be life? They are one in the same in my book.

Have a great weekend, and see you at Medical Mondays!


Thursday, January 3, 2013

I Don't Care What You Do, Just Do Something

One of my resolutions for 2013 was to be more positive, but I am having a difficult time with that. I am sick. And when I am sick I complain. Does it make me feel better? No, but that is what comes out and trying to change it takes too much energy. Energy is something you don't have when you are sick.

For the second day in a row I am sitting in bed telling my children to eat whatever they can reach, watch whatever they can find and start themselves, and to generally leave me alone. I don't care what they do as long as they do it quietly. I can clean up the mess when I am well.

It shouldn't be so difficult to leave someone alone, I can do it. But for small children being told to leave you alone somehow gets translated as "come bother me and ask me questions every 5 minutes". I suppose I could lock the door, but that seems harsh. I am their mother after all.

On second thought, that may be the best idea I have had all day!

Add to that the fact that my good husband, who I know would take care of all my sick needs and keep the kids away, was on call last night. And is on call again Friday night. That means if he ever makes it home today he will be of absolutely no use to me. Maybe he can stop and pick up dinner on his way home because we haven't left the house all year.

So in the whole 3 days of this new year I have managed to break the one resolution I made. I like to keep it simple. And now that it has been broken I have one less thing to be anxious about.

If you didn't already make your resolutions, may I suggest one? Join us for the first Medical Mondays Blog Hop of the new year! We have some great co-hosts lined up and it is fun to see who is blogging about the lives we are living. Stop by Monday January 7th - we'll be up all day:-)