Tuesday, October 30, 2012

You Would Make A Good Witch

As we were discussing our Halloween activities earlier in the month, because of course I would never wait until the last minute to pick out costumes, my children thought it would be fun to choose a costume for me.

Mind you, I don't dress up for Halloween. Have you seen the costumes available for women? Why would I buy a costume that basically looks like a piece of lingerie paired with fish nets and heels made to look like a pirate, a nurse (my favorite), a bunny, a maid, a super hero, a fairy tale princess with a much too short dress, the bad cop - you know what I mean. I could go straight from trick or treating to a job at the strip club. Lingerie, check. Fish nets, check. Stilettos, check. I have all the necessary accoutrement for a new and promising career in adult entertainment. Great.

It is nearly impossible to find a commercially available costume that doesn't scream of an Adult Only Boutique. Just browse the selection on Amazon.  Hardly the kind of costume I want to wear around my kids or the neighbors, even in the dark!

But hey, somebody is obviously wearing them because that is all you can find. Which leads me to believe that Halloween for adults is pretty much about being an exhibitionist, and showing off what you could never get away with the other 364 days of the year. You can wear whatever you want and call it a costume. And it seems to bring out the "naughty" in everyone. So I am skipping the costume once again for like the 15th year in a row. I am not shedding tears over it.

If you want a costume that doesn't make you look like a woman of ill-repute you have to be creative and plan in advance. Two things that are usually in short supply.

Although my children did offer their unanimous opinion that I would make a good witch. How did they know? I am thinking I should invest in a good witches hat after Halloween and keep it in my closet for when the mood strikes me, or Halloween calls, because I would make an excellent witch - black suits me. Make sure you spell witch with a "W".

Happy Halloween! Be Safe, Be Smart, Be Sweet.


Monday, October 29, 2012

How Not To Make Friends

Today I talked with a young woman from my church who has children the same age as mine. We were talking about play groups and how we should start one.  She indicated that there is a group that meets together for a weekly play group but she didn't go anymore.  They were mostly attended by the medical wives and, according to her experience, all they did was talk about their husbands, how much money they were going to make, what kind of state benefits they could get while in school, and their latest purchases.

I wanted to die. I hope she wasn't putting me in that group by virtue of my husbands profession. I could tell this woman wasn't impressed with what she saw. And no wonder that no one other than the medical wives went to play group.  Who would want to sit around and hear that every week? I sure wouldn't!

So a word to my medical friends. It is rude to talk about such things in public. It is one thing to have a discussion with your friends who are in the same boat, but when you do it with others who aren't in the same boat, or even floating on the same ocean, it comes off as exclusive and aloof. Certainly not a way to make friends.

It is in poor taste, regardless of what your husband is studying or what his income potential may be, to discuss salaries. Or maybe I am just old-fashioned, it could be that.

I am well aware that my family income potential is xyz and our friends and family know what he is doing and can take guesses at what that might be. They don't need me or my husband to tell them. And we don't plan to. Likewise, anyone who knows that your spouse is studying to be a doctor can make a guess about what kind of income future he has without hearing it from you. The Internet can tell anyone just about anything who is interested in knowing.

My point is, not everyone has the same income trajectory. Most of the people we will meet during training are at or near their maximum income potential for their particular career. They aren't going to have the same day/night experience that you and I will have.  It is true. But just because it is true, doesn't change the fact they no one wants to hear how much money you expect to make in five years and how that amount is going to be several times more than you make today. And just because you might temper it with a confession of your student loan debt doesn't make it sound any better.

Don't do it.

Many people live on the salary that you and I do through residency for most of their life and make it work. I have complained here about how difficult it is, but it will end. Maybe it is only difficult because I know what is coming. For many, it will never end, or it will only change in small increments. I can't imagine how difficult it would be to make this our life AND know that it wouldn't be changing. I can also imagine how insulting it would be to hear a resident wife complain out loud about her misfortune but that in a few years it will all be a distant memory.


Thursday, October 25, 2012

How Do You Spell Love?

I have heard that Love is spelled T-I-M-E, I thought it was L-O-V-E. But, I might not be the best speller online.

I understand what the sentiment is, and I do agree - but I'd like to apply this to the life of a med spouse. If I were looking purely at the amount of time as the determining factor in measuring love, I could be sure that my husband doesn't love me or our children.  I know that is false.

For me, and our family, we calculate love a little differently. It still uses time in the formula, but it looks more like this:

a = available time  (time not working)
b = family time (dinner, bedtimes, playing, reading, etc)
c = other activities (working out, running, reading, biking, etc)

where a = b + c and b is  >  c that is how I calculate Love, no spelling required.

I look at my husband, and marvel at how he is able to do it all. I know I have said that before, but it doesn't change, and it continues to amaze me. What I further find remarkable is that the formula very rarely becomes b = c or b < c. I know we are loved because b is always > c. He always gives our family the majority of his available time.

It might not always be hours every day, or even an hour, or even everyday. But when I look at the formula we get the time that he has.

If he is home when the kids are awake, the kids and I get that time. Period. When they go to sleep, then he takes care of other things. Some nights that is exercising, or studying, or any number of things. At that point in the day I don't mind. I need my time to unwind and do something on my own. It suits my personality.

The only thing I wish we did more was get out of the house just the two of us. But, I know it's not because he doesn't want to, but because his schedule doesn't allow it. Some day it will, and I know when that happens we will. And it is enough.

Being part of a medical family is rough. Some specialities are harder than others. Some specialities are longer than others. Some specialties will have more flexibility than others. The speciality isn't what matters, it's what the man/woman does with their available time.

I would much rather be married to a man who gives his free time to his family, even though it may not be as much, than a man with more free time that doesn't give as much to his family when he can.

Don't let a speciality scare you or your family. Know your doctor. Know your family. Know yourself.

Don't let anyone tell you that because your husband chooses a difficult/long/grueling specialty that he must not love his family as much as someone else who choose a different path. It simply isn't true.


Monday, October 22, 2012

Weekend Torture

Every now and again I have a day where I wonder "what in the world was I thinking"? This weekend was such a weekend.

It all started off innocently enough with a good deed. My neighbor had twins last month and her husband was out of town. I thought I would be nice and invite her daughter, who is the same age as my daughter, to go to the zoo with us. And by "us" I mean I was taking the kids to the zoo by myself because guess who was working. Me and five kids at the zoo on a weekend.

We managed to get to the zoo just as it opened, and I quickly discovered that kids really don't care about seeing most of the animals. They want to visit the gift shop, ride the carousel, and eat treats that didn't come packed with love by mom. They want the stuff that is sold in little huts around the zoo. Thank heavens that because we were there early, most of those little huts hadn't opened yet so we made it out alive. Kids also would rather play in puddles than read about animals. They would rather run around in circles giggling instead of walking in a straight line. The zoo for my family is less about seeing the animals and more about being an animal.

Then what do I do? Not one hour passed since we arrived back home that a friend called to see if our girls could have a play date. What I should have said was NO - we are all played out, but I know we don't normally do play dates very often. So I said yes. I was caught at a weak moment when my defenses were down. And somehow I was persuaded into having this little girl at my house, and driving her back home.

How did this happen?

Well, in my attempt to divert the play date to perhaps another day I told the mom that I just put the baby down for a nap and we wouldn't be going anywhere for a while. To which she responded, I could bring my daughter over there and you could bring her home at 5:00 or so.

Why couldn't I have been thinking more clearly? Why couldn't I just shut my mouth?

Instead I said, why don't you bring your son over too. WHAT? Well, my son is always complaining that he is surrounded by girls all the time (true) and she has a son who is my son's age. Since I am going to have kids over, might as well have all of them over.

So, while my children have had a delightful weekend I am exhausted and burned-out and it is only Monday. This doesn't bode well for the remainder of the week.


Thursday, October 18, 2012

Medicine and Money

I have had this show on my DVR (thanks to my husband who recognized this is my kind of programming) for the last few weeks, and finally started to watch it last night. It is fascinating. You should check out Medicine and Money on PBS. I can highly recommend it. Makes perfect sense to me.

Let me add that just because my husband recorded it for me doesn't mean that he is interested in watching it. He saw a couple of minutes and said, I don't need to watch this. And he is right. This is what he lives every day.

One of the patients they highlighted is very sick. Tubes, wires, monitors everywhere. She has been there for 10 months. I turned to him and told him that in no way would I want to be hospitalized without being able to communicate or feed myself for 10 months. This may sound harsh, but it was obvious even to me, without any medical training, that she wasn't going to recover no matter how much faith her son had. And I am a believing person. I believe in miracles, but come on ... this woman isn't going to make it. She was sick before she even was taken to the hospital after suffering a stroke. Now she has a feeding tube, breathing machine, is non-verbal, and on dialysis.

The hospital ethics committee had to issue a DNR (do not resuscitate) order because the family wasn't budging. The family believed that this is what she would want - to be kept alive as long as possible using whatever means necessary. Really? Did she write that down? The hospital told them that if she gets another infection/symptom they will not treat it as it is an indication that what they have been doing will not work. They will make her comfortable, but no additional symptoms will be treated. I wish I knew what the final outcome was! As one participate rightly pointed out "we all will die eventually".

And this is where I get all opinionated with my views on prevention. Remember my post about health-care, it's like that - sure to ruffle some feathers. If you are of the mind-set that you want to be kept alive at all costs for as long as possible what are you doing before you land in the hospital to make sure you are extending your own life by whatever means are necessary? Think about your life while you still have it to enjoy. Don't spend a little bit every day slowly killing yourself with things you know could cause you harm and then expect medicine to be the super-hero that invokes whatever means are necessary to keep the pronouncement of death from falling upon you. Eventually you will die, too!

Lest I sound like a hypocrite I do take my own advice. Another program I would suggest watching is Forks Over Knives. I have nearly transitioned over to a plant-based diet. Why? Not because I care about the cows and chickens - I watched those shows too. And I felt bad for a few days, but not enough to make me to do anything. But this program actually persuaded me to change because I could connect the dots and it made sense to me. I eat well, exercise and am only 6 lbs away from my goal weight now. I feel amazing. I was bragging to my husband that not only are my pants falling off, but my skin looks better and I have more energy than I did before. That must mean good things are happening on the inside too. I digress.

Medicine is amazing, but extending life when it has been exhausted isn't what it was intended for! No wonder medicine is so expensive. We are keeping people alive (possibly against their true wishes because they failed to tell someone or write them down) who by all accounts have already died. The woman I previously mentioned, just her care alone, has cost 5 million dollars over 10 months and will only continue to accrue costs directly to Medicare. In other words we will pay that bill with our taxes.

If something happens to me. I don't want my family grieving and holding out hope beyond a reasonable time. I don't want to be kept alive for weeks and months just because it is technologically possible when all medical indications suggest my "life" will not recover. I don't want to rob my family of their life because they are spending their time at my hospital bed hoping for a dramatic recovery. I don't want to drag out the inevitable. I don't want to cause a financial burden to either my family or my fellow citizens who could possibly be on the hook for it. Personally, I don't think that is right.

I am OK with dying. I don't want to die right now, but I want to have a life to live not merely a semblance of life.

When did it become a bad thing to die after you have lived a long life? I don't know of anyone who thinks they would like to die in a hospital hooked up to machines. Ideally, I would like to die an old woman in my sleep after a full day holding hands with my husband. I know that is unrealistic, but  I want to have the freedom to die on my own terms when the time comes, and with dignity. Until then I want to enjoy it.

I need a living will and medical directive. I don't want anyone guessing what I might want, or feeling guilty if they don't go to extreme measure just because they don't want the guilt associated with making a decision; a decision that I realize would be hard to make. I will make it for myself and leave them without guilt for following what I expressly have decided. It is the least I could do for those that I love. Now to get it done.

The program also touched on rising c-section rates, mammography, and PSA screening as well as highlighting specific states that are making good health care decisions with their patients and bringing down total health care costs at the same time. That is a win-win.

I think of my dad who is turning 60 this year and hasn't had an annual physical in at least the last 5 years, maybe longer. He looks like a healthy guy, his family risk factors lean towards Alzheimer's and Parkinson's disease (the slow death) and not heart disease, diabetes, or cancer.  Our family (both sides) have all died from natural causes, and my grandfather (80 years old) would still be here if he hadn't had knee surgery. It was a blood clot (PE) a few days post-operative that killed him. But he had bad knees from being obese. One could make the argument that if he hadn't spent 30+ years overweight, he might not have needed knee replacement and thus no blood clot. Or maybe the doctor shouldn't have agreed to replace the knee until he lost weight.

I completely understand why my dad doesn't want to go see a doctor. If you look for something hard enough you will eventually find something. His view is he would rather not know what is going to kill him. Especially when you consider that just because you screen for something doesn't mean you actually have it, or that it will be life threatening. Yeah, I would rather not know in that case, too.

Have you seen the PBS program Medicine and Money? What did you think? Are you going to watch it now:-)

Do you have a living will or medical directive?


Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Do You Do Too Much?

Part of the reality of being the stay at home half of a parenting partnership is that we are in our "stuff" all day long. My husband works hard, insanely long hours. His job is tough. But being the boss, the housekeeper, the cook, the driver, etc without any one to delegate to is rough! He can at least tell someone to go do something for him. Who am I going to tell? Me, Myself, and I.

Mom Goes On Strike Stops Cleaning For A Week! This article caught my eye today as I have been on a search for how to make my small children responsible for their own messes and personal items. I have chronicled many of my failed attempts here. I feel like I have tried just about everything!

Just last week I went through the house and picked up all the errant items and put them in a plastic bin and took it out to the garage. I now have two plastic bins and my three older children don't seem to notice things are missing yet and their rooms and play space are just as messy as they were three days ago. Back to square one - nothing has changed. I am seriously considering removing everything!

I realize that we have a case of too much. Don't we all?  Be honest. How many toys did you have as a child? And did you have a dedicated room to put it? Maybe that was our first mistake: thinking kids needed to have a space all their own to put their toys and play in. Having space just makes you want to fill it. Today I am wishing the house we rented didn't have an extra room obviously designed for this purpose. (Note to self: unless we can get this solved our next place will not have such a room.)

Granted we had a play space when we moved for residency when my son was only 16 months old. He didn't have much, but since we have added three additional children and extra stuff for all of them. I was so proud of myself for my amazing resourcefulness and garage sale treasures making our meager income do some remarkable things.  Isn't that what I was supposed to be doing? Wasn't part of my job to obtain things for my children to play with that would enrich their playtime experience and keep them occupied while I washed dishes or fed the baby? Maybe I missed the mark.

What I find so infuriating is that we just moved a few months ago and went through a purging cycle. We shouldn't be having this problem. Further, we haven't brought much of anything into the house. That has been our motto from the day we moved in. We are only here a year, we aren't brining anything in that we have to pack up and move again!

What we have is a clear case of children not having respect for their belongs. My children dump their stuff out and leave it. It isn't acceptable. I love this quote from the article "look around people, you are disgusting creatures". You really have to read the rest of it for context.

I can really relate to this woman who went on strike. I don't mind taking care of my family, I actually like it. But, as she puts it, it was the over-time as she cleaned up messes all day that didn't belong to her, that did her in. And like her, I find myself cleaning to make myself feel better, because I do feel better when the house is clean, but I don't really feel better because the entire time I am doing it I am upset that I have to clean up messes that don't belong to me! When I have to clean up their stuff, I can't spend time doing other things I need and want to do. Which in turns makes me a very grumpy mommy. They haven't quite caught on to that concept yet.

I don't think I could actually go on strike unless I made a commitment to leave the house altogether during the day. But I may have to modify my strike plans a little.

At this point I feel it necessary to disclose that my husband cleans up all of his own messes, and several that are not his. If I had to pick up after him as well I might have lost my mind long ago. Thank heavens his contributions have kept me sane this long!

Update: She blogged her strike here! The pictures alone are priceless. And after reading her blog in her own words, I could see myself being her minus the glass of wine. It's a fun read especially if you are tired of cleaning up other peoples messes:-)


Monday, October 15, 2012

October Awareness

Did you know that October is Pregnancy Loss and Infant Loss Awareness month? No. I didn't either, but that is probably because I have never lost a pregnancy or an infant.

I almost feel bad about never having a miscarriage at any stage because I know so many women who have. I don't want to experience what they have, but I feel a sense of shame in the fact that it is an experience that I can not directly relate to. I do not know what it is like. I have had nightmares about it, and those have been real enough.

My sisters have each had a least one miscarriage. Multiple friends of mine have experienced a miscarriage. I have a dear friend who lost her child during delivery after years of trying to conceive and carrying the baby to full-term. My heart broke for her, and still does when I think about it.

I have friends who recently had babies, are expecting, and at various stages of gestation. Life is fragile. One minute it is here, the next it is gone, and often there is no explanation for what went wrong. And no answer to the question "WHY".

I recently read this article in Doctor's Wives Living that has brought up the events of last summer with my friend and her baby finally born but not living. The author talks about how it doesn't matter if the loss was 5 hours or 50 years ago - the hurt is still present just under the surface. I cannot imagine a loss of that magnitude.

I look at my children and can't comprehend my life without any one of them, and yet realize I have very little say in the matter.


Friday, October 12, 2012

Are They Real? Only My Husband Knows For Sure

I have always told my husband that I would like a pair of diamond earrings of a certain size and I am positive he is more than willing to oblige when the time and situation is right. He would do it today if I would let him. He is a very generous man and I hope I haven't squashed that trait before he has ample opportunity to use it.  However, I have found myself back-tracking on my previous hearts desire. After all, diamonds are just rocks! Very beautiful rocks.

I have a pair of wonderful fake diamond earrings that I have worn without shame for years. They are cubic zirconium, but as far as I am concerned they pass for the real thing - although at this point I know I am fooling no one.

I wish I could remember where I purchased them or even when. I have had them for at least 4 years. Each stud is easily 1 carat. The setting is traditional. The metal source is unknown but hasn't faded or tarnished at all. They suit me:-)

And then the sun shines - they might not cast prisms like the real thing but I can live with that. Especially when I consider that most people who see them are going to assume that what I wear is the real thing.

And that is one of the truths that we are going to have to accept. People are going to make assumptions about our finances that are entirely false.

                                              ASSUMPTION                                    TRUTH

Diamonds                              real thing                                                 good fakes
Cars                                      paid for with cash                                    financed - just like yours
Mortgage                               paid off                                                    30 years
School                                   private                                                     public/charter/private/homeschool
Clean House                         housekeeper                                           blisters to prove it's me
Tasteful Decor                      interior designer                                      hours of HGTV finally used
Vacations                              exotic                                                      domestic and rare
Shopping                               Saks, Nordstroms                                  Target, Old Navy
Wallet                                    fat and overflowing                                  holds business cards and receipts
Dinner out                             steak and lobster every night                  made at home, take out
Groceries                              delivered                                                  line at warehouse store
Trim figure                             personal trainer/liposuction                     hours on the treadmill
Perky breasts                       boob job                                                   padded bra from VS
Haircolor                               expensive salon every 6 wks                  out of a box at home
Student Debt                         rich parents                                              years to payoff
Retirement                             no worries, millions                                 $0, plenty of worry

People will choose to believe the assumptions and completely ignore the facts. So, I might as well save whatever money would be spent in diamonds and payoff some of those student loans. The only people who will know for sure will be me and my husband.

(Disclaimer: Some of the assumptions may turn out to be truths, but you get the point).


Thursday, October 11, 2012

It's A Sign!

What do you think the chances of the universe answering the question I asked in Monday's post are?

I am thinking they are very good:-) When I got home this morning from my 60 minute walk (that's right I am getting fresh air and exercise - and feeling pretty good about it) to find a business card tucked in my front door for a house cleaning service. Well, it might not be an actual service as much as it appears to be a singular woman who says that she has 10 years experience and reasonable prices and two cell phone numbers.

Hum, something to seriously consider especially in light of the fact that I have at least two toilets that I have been avoiding... they would be the ones my kids destroy. Use your imagination and you'd probably be right. I feel like I need a haz-mat suit before entering. So I don't go in as often as I should.

I wonder if she would insist on a walk through of the place to get a general idea of the condition before she accepts. I am jumping ahead of myself a little, I haven't even called her. But I am thinking I should.

I think I have been reading/watching too many period dramas (i.e. Jane Austen, Elizabeth Glaskell, Downton Abbey) because I am beginning to think that I would really enjoy having to never think about how my clothing was always fresh and in good repair, and my food magically appears from behind double doors, or how the flowers were always fresh and perfectly arranged, and dust... what is dust? (I think I just described my children's existence). No wonder they had time to sit around and read, embroider, play the piano forte, take long walks, stay up until 2 am dancing, and sleep in unto 10 am, etc.

Pretty sure with my track record I would be the girl with chimney dust on her skirt and permanent stains under her chipped fingernails.


Tuesday, October 9, 2012

I Love Fall

I was thinking this weekend of something to be thankful for above and beyond the usual: family, friends, children, etc. It is good practice, and something I need to spend more time doing.

Now here in the second week of October I am thankful for fall.

When I think about fall, I recall a scene from the classic movie You've Got Mail. Meg Ryan's character talks about fall and the beginning of a new school year with such passion. She says it makes her want to go out and buy pencils and school supplies.

For me, as soon as the weather starts to turn I get giddy about getting to wear clothes I haven't seen in months. I like long sleeves (it may have something to do with my upper arms), I like long pants (that may have something to do with the color of my legs), I like scarves, boots, and jackets. Fall is one of my favorite seasons.

Fall also makes me want to be "homey". It is a bad time to visit a craft store because I seem to want to try everything. I know that I am not a crafty person. I would rather read, watch, or write. Creative things to display I don't feel very comfortable with. But today I bought a glass block to decorate for Halloween. Is that out of date now? That's how crafty I am. I will need to consult Pinterest and hopefully will finish something by the 31st.

Fall also makes me appreciate the way the seasons mark time. A change in weather signifies that things are changing, time is moving, life is progressing. Things end and others begin. We are getting close to some very monumental events in our life. Fellowship will end in 9 months.

It is amazing when I consider that the moment we have been waiting for FOREVER is winding down. This is our last fall, last winter, last spring and then it is done. After spending so much time in this phase it is almost impossible to consider that there is anything else.

Hello Fall - I am happy to see you.


Monday, October 8, 2012

If You Could Would You?

I am sitting in the middle of a very cluttered office while thinking about the very messy room upstairs that my children have been given to play. I don't like clutter. I don't like messes. Makes me cranky. If I am cranky, I am not happy. I can't think. And today I can't think!

So my question today is if you could afford a weekly housekeeper would you hire one?

I might, but I know myself well enough to know that I would clean the house before the person I paid to do it came over. I should just make a donation. I don't want someone to do my laundry. I may let them change the sheets, and put away linens. I would certainly let them clean the kitchen and bathroom(s), and all the floors. Only after I straightened and put everything away. Before they came I would have to get everything else taken care of and in the end I think having someone over to clean my house would just give me something else to fret over and cause me anxiety.

I have taken to cleaning my children's spaces. Before you say I shouldn't let me tell you how. I have tried in vain for the last few weeks to impress upon the need to pick up after themselves. It hasn't worked. But I have some empty plastic totes:-)

At the end of the day when they are in bed I just put everything in the tote and haul it out to the garage. Eventually they will notice that their things are missing and might want them back. They might even notice that the number of items in their closet and drawers are shrinking too.


Friday, October 5, 2012

Parenting 101

These days I find I am giving myself little lessons in parenting (or rather how not to parent) quite often. This latest education did a number on me.

My son came home from school last week with information on an after-school program that was going to culminate in an academic competition in January. I immediately dismissed it as junk and put it in the recycling container.

Imagine my surprise when later in the next week a note was in my son's binder saying that he had signed up to try out for two events. I thought I told him no, like I do to just about everything that comes home in that folder (book orders, cookie dough fundraisers, spirit night at local restaurants, etc).

I didn't want him to do it because it would be a major inconvenience for me. It would mean I would pick up his sister at school at 3:15 and then return at 4:15 to pick him up twice a week. Remember how much I hate picking up from school? Now it get to do it two more round-trips each week.

I explained to my son that out of 90 kids they would be selecting 5 to compete and that he was signing up for try-outs only. I was discouraging him from trying because the odds were fairly low that he would make the cuts. I would be irritated twice a week with extra school runs, and he would be heartbroken. I was trying to save us both.

And then I realized that I was basically telling my kid that he wasn't the brightest and shouldn't even try because he wasn't going to be in the top 5. What kind of parent does that? Had the subjects been math or science I might have agreed without contest, but the areas of competition that his grade level could participate in were creative writing and storytelling.

If you knew my son you would know that getting him to read for 20 minutes every day is one of our struggles. Encouraging him to write may even be a bigger challenge. He is brief to say the least. Over the summer I had to fight with him for 4 sentences about a subject he liked!

We'd been trying to get him involved in something: karate, football, cycling, running and he showed zero interest.  How could he possibly want to do this, he doesn't seem to even like it!

A good parent would be encouraging their child! He finally says something that he wants to do and my first response is no!

Guess who is trying out for the creative writing and storytelling team? We talked about it, and I pulled the permission slip out of the recycling bin and reluctantly signed it. Time to start helping and encouraging. Time to paste that smile on my face when I have visited the school parking lot for the third time that day. Finally, he shows interest in something that isn't electronic - I am happy about that.

Maybe this will actually get him interested in reading and writing, and maybe he will even make the cut.


Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Are You Sure You Are An Intern?

I have meet several other spouses of physicians, and I have discovered some disparities between our intern year (way back then) and interns now (2012). I know that some things changed, but could they really have changed that much?

They are so different, in fact, that I am not even sure that they are interns.

My evidence:

1. In the middle of the week while at my local grocery store at approximately 10:00 am I spotted the said intern with one of his children casually shopping the way a person does when they don't have anything else to do that day. (I remember when I used to shop like that). I said hello to him, but I think he was a little shocked and embarrassed to be "caught". I was in a hurry so I moved on, there is work to be done.

2. The same individual was observed on another day, also during the late morning, taking a solo bike ride - in full gear, the kind you would wear for a really long bike ride. I knew it was him because he pulled his bike into his garage. That is odd. This as I am racing down the street in my van shuttling children between one activity or another.

Of course I only have my own experience to base these two separate events on, but having my husband home during the middle of the day, even during our intern year - which I thought was cake compared to  what would come - happened NEVER. It certainly didn't happen twice within the same month!

I know I am being a bit harsh, but both times it struck me as odd that he wasn't at least in his scrubs, or looking haggard and worn out. Where was the 5:00 shadow, or the dark circles under red eyes, or the disheveled hair looking like they haven't showered in 24 hours because they haven't!  Instead he looked refreshed, relaxed, like he didn't have a care in the world. How is that possible?

Maybe he was on a research month? Maybe he took some time off? Maybe there is some reasonable explanation for why he wasn't at the hospital.

Is internship so laid back now that I can't even recognize it?

I don't know if that is helpful to new interns. They are going to be in for a rude awakening come residency when IT happens. Unless they have watered that down too.

(This is where my husband would say that I am just jealous and I stick my tongue out at him)


Monday, October 1, 2012

Today: Medical Monday's Blog Hop

It's time once again for my most favorite blog hop, and I hope yours too!

Hooray! It's Medical Monday!

Are you confused if you qualify for the party?

Do you work in healthcare?
Doctor? Nurse? EMT? Chiropractor? Vet? Dentist? Therapist?
Are you the spouse or SO of a healthcare worker/student?
Are you a nursing student? Medical student?
Intern? Resident? Fellow?

You get the picture, right? 


Our once a month bloghop for bloggers like yourself, where we can build a community of support and friendship, learn from one another and share our stories.

Here are the rules:

  1. Follow your co-hosts via GFC.
  2. Link up you medical/med life blog. If your blog name does not clearly state how you fit in to the med/med life world, please write a little intro or link up a specific post which clearly demonstrates your connection.
  3. Visit at least 3 other link ups, comment, introduce yourself, and tell the your stopping by or following from MM! 
  4. Help spread the word by using our button on your post or sidebar, tweet about Medical Monday, or spread the word on Facebook! The more the merrier for all of us!
And here's a helpful tip. . .

If you haven't turned off word verification, it's ON. Please turn it off. We'll all LOVE you!!
Not sure how? Click here for instructions.

Complete step one by following your co-hosts:

Want to be awesome? Help facilitate the hopping by grabbing this button and insert it on the post you link up. . .

Want to co-host next month? Shoot Emma an email at yourdoctorswife@gmail.com.

Now, link up below and have fun! The link up is open through Friday, so be sure to come back during the week.