What We Have Is A Failure To Communicate

Is that any surprise? I discovered long ago that we do not communicate well on the phone. Why? Because one or both of us is multi-tasking and not really listening. Then why did you even call? We have had disagreements in the past over things that the other thought they heard that weren't actually spoken. I understand that DrH has a limited amount of time and that using 5 minutes to just talk on the phone without doing anything else isn't practical. For that matter I don't usually just sit and talk either. I am feeding kids, cleaning the house, etc.

With our last argument this week, after giving him the silent treatment for 24 hours, I sent him an email. That's right. He can't interrupt me mid-sentence, I won't get all emotional, I can remain strong and say what I need him to hear. This may become my preferred method of communicating with DrH. It isn't the speediest of methods, but I could hear him the next morning pounding out his response on the computer.

All is well, but there are still a few things that really annoy me that we didn't get a chance to hash out as much as I would have liked.

1) Don't tell me that you were tired and not in your right mind. I know that! But, you don't get to use that as an excuse whenever it is convenient.

2) Don't talk to me about "do you know what I do for a living". If anyone knows what you do it is me! Do you know what I do?

3) Don't go getting all high and mighty on me, you aren't the only one with a stressful job around here.

4) Just because your boss might rip into you doesn't give you the right to take it out on your wife and kids.

5) If you are sick don't go shopping. That is a no-brainer in my book.

I think what really gets me is that he knows how good he has it. He tells me about the wife of an attending who dictates when he operates. She will call the OR during surgery to yell at him for not being where she wants him. If my DrH is operating, it is what it is and I can deal with that. I would never ask him to move a patients surgery to fit my needs and wants. So if he says he knows how good he has it, he best not tick me off because I am a time bomb waiting to explode.

To his credit he did apologize and recognized the foolishness of his actions. Now I feel better.