Technically it is happy birthday to me and while I should be celebrating I am feeling guilty. Why? Because my idea of celebrating is complete silence, alone time, and a clean house. So I just sent my husband, our three kids, and my parents out for the afternoon without me.
I complain because we don't get to see our family (or husband) often enough, and now that they are here today all I really want is to be alone. Same thing for Mother's Day, Valentines Day, Christmas. Any holiday that usually comes with gifts or favors. Probably because true alone time, just me myself and I, is in short supply around here. That and because I am used to just having me and the kids around all day when more people are in the house I start getting a little claustrophobic and need to breathe.
My house hasn't been cleaned in two weeks and trying to clean with a house full of people is nearly impossible. So for my birthday I am putting our new baby to bed with a prayer that she will sleep and I am going to clean this house and enjoy a few hours of peace and quiet before they all come home and chaos ensues once again.
While anxiously anticipating this silence I still feel like a big party pooper - I hope that feeling doesn't last for too long because I made chocolate chip cookies last night and they might disappear fast if I don't snap out of it. Time to start working in silence!