Monday, January 28, 2013

Boiling Blood - Don't Press Send

Things like this probably never happen to you.

I am involved in an organization of volunteers and just received an email that makes my blood boil, and I want to send what I drafted but know that I would regret it. And then I think, I only have to deal with her for 5 more months and it would feel so good to press send!

You know the kind of email I am talking about. The one that says all the things you are thinking in your head but you are too kind to ever say them. Yeah, it's that kind - and it has my heart racing and is putting red in my cheeks. And has for the last 30 minutes!

After drafting my blood boiling response I figured I had better come here before I accidentally press "send" and can't undo what I so badly want to do. Why must I possess such a degree of self control?

Actually, I am waiting for my husband to come home so he can talk me off the cliff because he is the diplomatic one. I am sure he will find a way to get my point across without coming across as a witch.

Last week this woman sent me and 10 other people in our volunteer group an email that was accusatory while still being polite. She is the kind of woman that I could never be friends with. She says mean things with a smile. She is a snake. I wouldn't trust her. EVER.

As I read through the email I knew exactly who she was talking about. She was talking about me! But instead of just telling me what I should do better, she thought sending out an email to the entire group was a better choice.

And then when someone asked me how I was doing later I brought up the email and that person told me that it was actually directed at someone else. How does that make it better exactly?

And then apparently she goes and tells this woman who sent the original email that I was put off by it and what does she do? She sends me another email telling me that "a direct approach isn't always an accusatory one". I want to tell her that is exactly what a direct approach is. If you have to tell me something tell it to me directly, don't include 10 other people who it doesn't apply to.

If you send it to me I can assume that it applies to me. Whether or not I actually need that correction is a matter of opinion. She is wrong.

I am thinking about taking a direct approach of my own and not even bothering with responding to the email but rather calling her, or showing up at her house. She doesn't understand direct! I wish I could to it without crying.... I cry when I get mad, especially when looking at the person I am mad at. I need to get that under control.

In the draft of my email I also remind her that I am a volunteer and if she doesn't like it I can leave.

Why must people be so ugly? She is the perfect example of passive aggressive, she will smile while stabbing you in the back. My husband said she reminded him of Professor Dolores Umbridge from the Harry Potter series.



  1. Oh my gosh I've had these kinds of moments too. I end up having a friend/coworker sensor my response emails. I'll go tell them the situation & that I need them to make sure my response isn't too snarky. Hate that! Then you have to be nice while they are being a b- to you! Grrr...

    1. Exactly! I have read and re-read my response so many times I am dizzy. I'd really like to make my point without tearing her head off or doing exactly what she is guilty of. Oh the torment I am going to endure until it is done! I knew I couldn't be the only one:-)

  2. I just had to laugh! I totally understand! I think our Doc H's must be twins separated at birth...hence the subtitle to my blog "things my husband won't tell you {he's too nice}".
    Must you continue volunteering? I think volunteer jobs should be fun and exciting. I am currently working two volunteer jobs and I LOVE them! The second I don't, I'm outta there! My gosh, why bother working in a stressful environment especially if you're not even getting paid for it? Life's too short for that nonsense.
    Hope you get your blood pressure in check soon! Hugs!

    1. He is so calm and logical... thank heavens one of us can keep their emotions in check. I have to let them go or they start eating me alive!

  3. I also cry when I get mad! I would be angry too. Some women never get past high school.

    1. I wish I could be a cold hearted witch somedays, but instead I get blubbering. Thanks for validating my anger and subsequent tears.


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