I don't really care for resolutions. Why? Because I feel intense pressure to do them all perfectly, all of the time. In truth I can only do everything perfectly for one day... and I did. It's that darn second day that gets me! So I started the year perfectly and after only one day feel like a failure. And that is why I don't care for resolutions.
This year I can't join the millions of others who want to lose weight because by the miracle that I call breast feeding I made it through the holidays, took a month off from the gym and still lost 5 lbs. I am enjoying this period of my life immensely! Just thinking about how I can live on cookies alone and still drop the pounds is something that only happens a few times in ones life. This may be the last time for me so I am going to relish every cookie. On second, thought I am going to make that my New Years Resolution so I can cross it off the list as being completed with amazing results!
The resolution that I made for myself is pretty broad and then I narrowed it down a little. I want to be less angry in 2012. I know that I am. I am feeling the stress of 5 1/2 years of residency, our home that we need to sell at a potential loss, finding a new place to live in a new state, etc. I am angry that we've done everything right and it doesn't seem like the world has delivered on it's promises. I know that is silly because I never had a contract with the world. But that doesn't change the fact that I have been angry, and I don't want to spend the next 6 months angry. I am assuming that when residency is over and we move that will go away on it's own.
I am worn down, that is the bottom line. So in 2012 I am going to try to take better care of myself and not let the worry defeat me. The first step in taking better care of myself is getting to bed earlier and waking up earlier. I did that perfectly for one night and then last night... well that's in the past. Tonight I will try again. By earlier I am talking 9:30 pm. I need my sleep. I have a baby who is still waking up in the night to eat, and kids that wake up earlier than I would like. My goal is to eventually be up in the morning before they are. I don't want to, but I think it would help me feel like I am starting the day on my own terms instead of being pulled out of bed by kids. We'll see how that goes.
First things first, I need to go to bed earlier. I am doing it for my DrH too. I like staying up and talking with him, but he gets even less sleep than I do and I need to help him sleep!
So that's what I've got so far. Oh, and getting this house sold:-)
Did I write this? I feel like I did. At least, it all applied to me, too : ). Also, trying desperately to get ahead of the residency lump on the credit card, so we can start saving to move for fellowship.
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to let this baby nurse me back into swimsuit shape by summer! Yay!!!!
My 3 year old is up at the crack of dawn each and every morning. I wake up each day to him breathing into my face : )