Thursday, February 7, 2013

Signed, Sealed, Delivered, and in the Bank

This is supposed to be THE post. The one where I tell you that I have officially received notice that my time as a struggling medical spouse is over. But somehow, I don't seem like celebrating. Truth be told, I hardly know what to do.

I posted a couple of months ago about my husbands interview, and how it is perfect, and everything is just right. And it still is. When I think about it, is seems like a fairy tale. This whole experience seems like one amazing, too-good-to-be-true, fairy tale.

Today, instead of speculating about the future we have received the offer, had the attorney review it, had our financial advisor go over it, signed it, and now they are sending us big fat paychecks twice a month. Our monthly stipend is larger than our hospital paycheck. It really puts your husband's value as a professional in perspective. (They really should be paid more in training.)

Financial incentives are structured in any number of ways and differ wildly depending on your specialty and the location. Ours is set up as a monthly stipend to be paid from the date our contract was signed until the day we start. It is a lovely amount. We don't pay taxes on it today, they will take the taxes out as it forgiven over three years. So in a sense their financial incentive is a forgivable loan not a signing bonus.

Sounds like something to get excited about, right! And we are.

I can't tell you what a relief it is to be sitting here at the beginning of the month knowing all our bills have been paid, and there is money left. I don't check our accounts every morning. I don't get anxious when the bills come in the mail. I don't worry about buying too much at the grocery store. And the fact that Sallie Mae started taking a bigger chunk (without asking) doesn't bother me. Our accounts are growing - reversing a trend that I was afraid was going to land us in trouble soon. It's a miracle.

Worrying about money has been my "thing" and trying to keep our family from debt has been my "mission".  When was the last time you had a stream of income that exceeded your bills and left you with something sizable to do whatever you wished with?  The closest thing was our tax refund one year, but it got turned into a new roof and was gone, never to be seen again. Not the same thing.

Overnight we have gone from making ends meet and saving a little, to a monthly income that has doubled. Doubled! I could happily live like this forever. It's not bad.

Now, when I say our income doubled, let me remind you that we are still in fellowship training - it's not the real deal yet. What am I  going to do in 6 months when he/we finally get paid commiserate with his training and education investment. Sixteen years, 80 hour work weeks, and $315,000 in debt to be correct.

There are the people who say they are going to live like residents until they pay off their student loans. And I belonged to that camp in the beginning, but I am not going to lie to you. We have no intention of living like we did during residency. That was pure insanity, and completely unrealistic unless you were a resident who was receiving help from parents, or moonlighting. Then maybe it would be possible to continue that life style on your own.

I consider myself to have an above average degree of self-control. I don't know many people who possess enough discipline to live exactly like they did in residency when there is another way. I think what they really mean to say is that they aren't going to go on a spending spree and buy a big house, a fancy car, and diamonds. Very different things. We aren't going to go that route either.

At this point we have decided to live like fellows who have received a monthly stipend for now and into the future. There is no reason we can't be happy with this amount for the next several years. Payoff loans and save for a house and live comfortably ever after. I am ready to start worrying less and enjoying more. And I feel at this point we can confidently say we have earned the respite.

I feel a little strange admitting that we have a job, and some extra money. Why? I am still trying to process that.

I think its because this is a completely new experience. And frankly, one I wasn't expecting to come with so many emotions. You know how long training is and we aren't spring chickens! Our past experiences have been our only experiences. We have lived in the mentality of scarcity and getting by for a long time. Those are hard to let go of.

But I suppose if that is my new trial, I am willing to endure it as best I can.

P.S. I wish you were all done! But this path has no short-cuts. I can't wait to read about your experiences when they happen to you:-)

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22 comments:

  1. So very happy for you!!! I know one day we too will be there and until then we will make the best of the journey to get there. If I was single then yes I could live like a resident for awhile but for a family of 4 that is a different story. Enjoy it - you have worked hard and deserve it. Also hope the school issue has worked out a little bit at least. If you need anything homeschool wise send me an email.
    Chey xo

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    1. Thanks Chey! I have spent the last week or more reading everything I can find on homeschooling. You may see an email from me in the near future.

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  2. YAY! Congratulations! Soak it all in and don't feel bad about it! You've both earned it and we will probably be the same way when we finally start making a little extra money. Enjoy it a little, but don't go overboard! I can't wait to be in your boat hopefully in a year from now :)

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    1. Thank you. I can't wait until everyone I know is in the same boat! That year is going to fly:-)

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  3. Congrats!! After the pathetic pay of residency it feels great to be better compensated. Go ahead and splurge some, you all deserve it. We went overboard trying to keep up with lifestyles of other more affluent docs (or non medical friends who didn't have boatloads of school debt) and that was a big mistake. But it seems from what I know of you you'll be smarter with your money than we were and not go overboard.

    Treat yourselves to some of the things you denied yourselves during residency/fellowship

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    1. Thank you for the warning. It is true, I have already seen my purse stings loosen a bit and can see how easy it would be to jump in. I do have a list of things I have wanted for a while, and Valentine's day is coming up:-)

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  4. How exciting for you! You are finally seeing that light at the end of the tunnel because the end is near! SO happy for you! I am the same way with $ I check the bank account, I budget...it's nice that you can have a break....enjoy it! you both have earned it. I started following recently...what kind of doc is your husband?

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    1. Thanks for following along. My husband is in Neurosurgery. And the light at the end of the tunnel is coming fast. He starts his "real" job on July 29th. I feel guilty for not keeping a better hold of my budget lately. I used to love it, but I think I needed a break from babysitting it. I am sure I will formulate a new plan soon and be back to watching like a hawk.

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  5. We are there with you! I'm sure you've heard the line, "more money, more bills." Sadly, that's how it's been for our first year out. He hadn't even started his practice and the loan company was on us right away, and for a large monthly payment. And I was so used to getting one check a month in residency that it has been hard for me to adjust to the twice-a-month income, rearranging my bill paying schedule. I can't say we have been able to really enjoy the new way of life just yet, but building our new home in the fall will be worth it all! Glad for you!

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    1. That is so encouraging, at least the last part. I know the rest of our loans will start coming due soon and I'm not really looking forward to that payment, but at least I am not worried about how it will get paid. Congratulations on building a new home this fall. We talk round and round about buying or building. As it stands the answer is neither. Looks like in that way we will be living like a resident!

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  6. Congrats, you are definitely helping with instilling hope in me. 6 more years till I'm at this point in my life!

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    1. Thank you. This is so cliche, but looking back now those years passed so quickly. The individual days didn't so much, but the months and years sure did.

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  8. Yay!! This made made me smile!! Congratulations!! DH's start date is August 19th, so I'll be right there with you trying to figure this "new" world out. We didn't get a stipend... that would have been lovely especially since we are doing fellowship in an expensive city. We got a very generous sign on bonus, but the majority of it went to the selling of our house-- I don't think I'll ever want to buy again. Enjoy, it's a been a long hard road.

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    1. Thank you. I am right there with you, after our experience selling our house I am in no hurry to undertake home ownership again. Congratulations to you too! Have you thought about what you are going to do over the summer? We have 29 days between finish of fellowship and start of work. I suppose moving and settling in will take some time.

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    2. DH doesn't finish fellowship until July 31st, though he is planning on taking the last week as vacation. So... we'll be moving. School will start mid August for the kids too, so we figured he might as well start work [and start getting paid!!] Has your DH finished licensing and credentialing? It seems like it never ends.

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    3. I saw some papers on the desk that looked like official stuff from another state. I should probably ask him how that is going!

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  9. so nice for you! I have friends who are already getting stipends. wish we were there with them. we have a little over a year left in residency and I used to say I was going to keep living the way we are now too but that was 1 baby ago and we are barely scraping by now. I can't wait till the day I get to put my girls in dance again. And go on actual dates. Those are 2 things that we will do for sure that we aren't able to do now. It's the little things. Thanks for the reminder that it will come soon!

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    1. You are so right, we start residency with 1 kid now we have 4! Everything is more expense now than it was then. We did dance lessons one year for one of our daughters and can't wait to start again. Or maybe we'll try a couple of different things. And date nights, yes please. So, a little over a year left - you are nearly there. We had friends who secured jobs 2 years before finishing and others who are still in the process and need jobs this summer. It's a strange game. Best of luck and thanks for commenting!

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  10. Emotions seem to accompany money all the time. I think it's definitely understandable to feel a mix of emotions- but as everyone has said, you deserve this. You have worked hard for it too! :)

    I completely relate about not wanting to spend too much at the grocery store. There's a balance between being comfortable during the current time and wanting to be OK later too. Finding that balance, for me, can be difficult. :)

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  11. This post seriously almost just brought me to tears - I think you have done that once before to me too :) But I am literally so excited for you and your family. I love how "real" you are about the feeling too...its not just as easy as Hey its about time so now lets go crazy. You are so right and hit the nail on the head...the residency/fellowship lifestyle has become your life and you know nothing else. The adjustment will take time (in a very good way!!). I highly suggest treating yourself to something soon though...he got his reward and felt the satisfaction that the hard work has finally paid off by signing those contracts but now YOU need to get a little reward for yourself because you know what? Now you can :) Congrats to you both. xo

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    1. Thank you Amy! We are in a really weird place right now. This area between training and practicing. You aren't in the same boat as your friends anymore, but you aren't in the same boat as those who are practicing. In the middle and trying to navigate without any direction. It's enough to make me want to pull my hair out.

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