How Do You Spell Love?

I have heard that Love is spelled T-I-M-E, I thought it was L-O-V-E. But, I might not be the best speller online.

I understand what the sentiment is, and I do agree - but I'd like to apply this to the life of a med spouse. If I were looking purely at the amount of time as the determining factor in measuring love, I could be sure that my husband doesn't love me or our children.  I know that is false.

For me, and our family, we calculate love a little differently. It still uses time in the formula, but it looks more like this:

a = available time  (time not working)

b = family time (dinner, bedtimes, playing, reading, etc)

c = other activities (working out, running, reading, biking, etc)

where a = b + c and b is  >  c that is how I calculate Love, no spelling required.

I look at my husband, and marvel at how he is able to do it all. I know I have said that before, but it doesn't change, and it continues to amaze me. What I further find remarkable is that the formula very rarely becomes b = c or b < c. I know we are loved because b is always > c. He always gives our family the majority of his available time.

It might not always be hours every day, or even an hour, or even everyday. But when I look at the formula we get the time that he has.

If he is home when the kids are awake, the kids and I get that time. Period. When they go to sleep, then he takes care of other things. Some nights that is exercising, or studying, or any number of things. At that point in the day I don't mind. I need my time to unwind and do something on my own. It suits my personality.

The only thing I wish we did more was get out of the house just the two of us. But, I know it's not because he doesn't want to, but because his schedule doesn't allow it. Some day it will, and I know when that happens we will. And it is enough.

Being part of a medical family is rough. Some specialities are harder than others. Some specialities are longer than others. Some specialties will have more flexibility than others. The speciality isn't what matters, it's what the man/woman does with their available time.

I would much rather be married to a man who gives his free time to his family, even though it may not be as much, than a man with more free time that doesn't give as much to his family when he can.

Don't let a speciality scare you or your family. Know your doctor. Know your family. Know yourself.

Don't let anyone tell you that because your husband chooses a difficult/long/grueling specialty that he must not love his family as much as someone else who choose a different path. It simply isn't true.