As we were discussing our Halloween activities earlier in the month, because of course I would never wait until the last minute to pick out costumes, my children thought it would be fun to choose a costume for me.
Mind you, I don't dress up for Halloween. Have you seen the costumes available for women? Why would I buy a costume that basically looks like a piece of lingerie paired with fish nets and heels made to look like a pirate, a nurse (my favorite), a bunny, a maid, a super hero, a fairy tale princess with a much too short dress, the bad cop - you know what I mean. I could go straight from trick or treating to a job at the strip club. Lingerie, check. Fish nets, check. Stilettos, check. I have all the necessary accoutrement for a new and promising career in adult entertainment. Great.
It is nearly impossible to find a commercially available costume that doesn't scream of an Adult Only Boutique. Just browse the selection on Amazon. Hardly the kind of costume I want to wear around my kids or the neighbors, even in the dark!
But hey, somebody is obviously wearing them because that is all you can find. Which leads me to believe that Halloween for adults is pretty much about being an exhibitionist, and showing off what you could never get away with the other 364 days of the year. You can wear whatever you want and call it a costume. And it seems to bring out the "naughty" in everyone. So I am skipping the costume once again for like the 15th year in a row. I am not shedding tears over it.
If you want a costume that doesn't make you look like a woman of ill-repute you have to be creative and plan in advance. Two things that are usually in short supply.
Although my children did offer their unanimous opinion that I would make a good witch. How did they know? I am thinking I should invest in a good witches hat after Halloween and keep it in my closet for when the mood strikes me, or Halloween calls, because I would make an excellent witch - black suits me. Make sure you spell witch with a "W".
Happy Halloween! Be Safe, Be Smart, Be Sweet.