Monday, August 15, 2011

Apology Accepted

I've said it before and I'll say it a thousand times more: I married a great guy. I have no idea how I convinced him to marry me:-)

I was mad, but my husband knows how to apologize and give me my space. When I was finally over my anger (it takes about 24 hours before I can talk to him, and he knows it) we were able to talk about what went wrong that day, the one I previously blogged about, and came to some agreement on how to avoid it in the future.

When both of us are having a bad day, it's just bad all the way around. I was having a bad time because by the end of the week I am a mess. I wanted to go out with my friends, and wanted to save a couple of bucks if he was going to be home. He was short with me on the phone when I called the tech answered and, instead of relaying for us, held the phone to my husbands ear while he was looking in the microscope operating. That tech really should know better. He wasn't irritated with me. But he was short, and I didn't like it. He was really upset because he had asked the other chief resident to take this case because he needed to get out of town for his other commitment. Instead of coming over to the hospital when he was finished, he went home. So he was left to do the case himself. The attending said he could leave, but you just don't do that. They want to know you are serious and that this is your priority above all else. He couldn't leave. He was trying to finish quickly and as always there were complications.

My husband is a nice guy, and by being nice he gets himself abused. He is already a nice guy, he doesn't have to be doing people favors to prove it. So we talked about saying no more often to his junior residents who want him to cover for them. He needs to stop staying yes to everyone at the expense of his family and other responsibilities. He can't do it all, all of the time. This time, nobody won - everyone lost.  In the future, when he has somewhere he needs to be at a certain time he is just going to take the entire day off. Past experiences have proven that even with the best of intentions something always comes up making it nearly impossible. Now that we've come to that solution, we'll see if it works the next time we are faced with conflicting time tables.

I am so glad I married someone who can recognize when he's made a mistake and owns up to it. I could do a better job of that myself. I was thinking, during that 24 hours that I need to cool off, that we don't fight. I can't recall a single fight in the 7 years we've been married. We rarely have disagreements and get along really well. I'm convinced he is responsible for most of that. Granted I don't go looking for fights to pick (and I rant and rave on this blog instead of directly at him), but he is quick to acknowledge when he has made a mistake and apologizes. How can you be upset with someone like that for long?

Apology accepted! I love you :-)

1 comment:

  1. That's why we go through it all, isn't it? Because they are so wonderful. My husband sent me an email this morning, before he left for the hospital at 5:30. He ended it with, "I want you to know that even though our schedule may revolve around my schedule, my life still revolves around you. I love you." Can't be mad at a man like that for long.


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