Tuesday, May 22, 2012

The Party Don't Start Until I Walk In

I am a stickler for timeliness. In some situations I would rather not show up at all then show up late. I make a conscious effort to be on time for everything.

When someone says 5:00 I am there at 5:00. Not 4:55 or 5:10, but 5:00. This has often been a source of frustration in my marriage. I just assumed that DrH wasn't as concerned with time as I was, and faulted him for his lack of interest in being on time. I find it rude to be late. He doesn't think anything of it.

I am sure the people at church have thought that the reason we are late sometimes is because I am getting all done up. I like to look good, but I give myself plenty of time. Often it is my husband who isn't ready when it is time to go. 

I pride myself as being somewhat of a genius when it comes to time. I can estimate with a high degree of accuracy how long something will take, how soon we will arrive somewhere, etc. It even impresses my husband. I am so good I can even translate his "I'll be home in 15 minutes" into real time. It is never 15 minutes.

As we were getting ready to close on our house I had made arrangements for us to be at our attorney's office at 3:00 to sign a Power Of Attorney. It was 2:45 and my DrH wasn't even dressed. He was in between cases, but had been home for at least an hour, and was headed to clinic right after signing the papers. He had plenty of time to get ready, he just choose to do something else.

Since we were taking two vehicles anyway I left so that at least one of us would be there on time and I would try to explain my husbands absence if it was necessary. Wouldn't you know I got to be the one waiting and he walked in just as she is pulling the papers out for signatures. It took me 15 minutes and he waltzes in for 45 seconds.

A few days later he was able to summarize his position on time. "Nothing starts until I get there". Oh my goodness - he has turned into a surgeon! In his field that is right. It doesn't matter when he shows up, they can't start without him, so he gets there when he gets there. Nothing ever starts on time in his world. Not because he is the one holding things up, but because there are numerous other variables that determine the actual start time of a case. Rather than showing up on time and having to wait, he just goes late expecting to walk in and get started! 

As a surgeon I understand that his time is valuable, and that waiting is not the best use of his time. The problem I have is that his attitude has trickled down to every other event that has a predetermined start time. I am glad that I understand his view of time as a mere suggestion - but I am having a difficult time reconciling it with my view of time as a manifestation of good manners and polite social behaviors.

Maybe I will have to start employing the "little white lie" strategy adding an extra 30 minutes to every event. Yes, dinner is at 4:30 :-)

1 comment:

  1. I am FOREVER waiting for Doc H. Lordy, it drives me insane! Don't bother with dinner at 4:30. It won't work. I tried. He'll still be late.
    Last weekend, I told him I was leaving for our road trip by myself (he was 3 hours late). Told him he would have to drive himself up to the house. He said he'd be home in 30 min. I said I'll be pulling out of the driveway in 31 min. I was shocked he made it!


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