Yesterday was a complete failure. It was nearly impossible to stay hands-free! I admire the people that give it up for lent entirely! I am sure it would do me good, and the fact that I am terrified to even try it suggests that it would be a worthy sacrifice.
I think it has ruined me... I can't think of a single thing to write today!
So what did I do?
I tackled a project that I saw weeks ago (darn Pinterest and decoupage). I invited my sons friend over to play with him (Xbox upstairs). I made a grocery list (gasp) and cooked dinner with vegetables (two of them -gasp, gasp). I day dreamed (a two-story with pool and tennis court). I watched Disney movies (from the other room).
I still didn't shower, exercise, or read the book I planned on. Or go grocery shopping, check the mail, or make a run to the bank (that's always a fun chore). Didn't really feel like leaving the house - that's what happens when you don't shower first thing in the morning. (Make note of that for future reference).
But, I did have a realization today: I prefer to work with deadlines. I need schedules. I need structure. I need places I have to be. Too much free time doesn't create a sense of urgency. I need that "urgency" as motivation. I need projects to manage, track, and someone to hold me accountable. Sure I have things to do, that I could do (they just don't matter to anyone). But too much time to do it means it doesn't get done as quickly. Does that make sense to you?
It seems completely backwards. But it seems to be working that way.
Maybe I need a job. Maybe I need to volunteer. Maybe I need to find someone to help (I am actually working on that one). Maybe I need a project that will take days and weeks, not minutes and hours.
I won't give up. I am a doctor's wife, I have tackled bigger fish. I can figure this out. Next Wednesday will be better:-)