I think it has ruined me... I can't think of a single thing to write today!
So what did I do?
I tackled a project that I saw weeks ago (darn Pinterest and decoupage). I invited my sons friend over to play with him (Xbox upstairs). I made a grocery list (gasp) and cooked dinner with vegetables (two of them -gasp, gasp). I day dreamed (a two-story with pool and tennis court). I watched Disney movies (from the other room).
I still didn't shower, exercise, or read the book I planned on. Or go grocery shopping, check the mail, or make a run to the bank (that's always a fun chore). Didn't really feel like leaving the house - that's what happens when you don't shower first thing in the morning. (Make note of that for future reference).
But, I did have a realization today: I prefer to work with deadlines. I need schedules. I need structure. I need places I have to be. Too much free time doesn't create a sense of urgency. I need that "urgency" as motivation. I need projects to manage, track, and someone to hold me accountable. Sure I have things to do, that I could do (they just don't matter to anyone). But too much time to do it means it doesn't get done as quickly. Does that make sense to you?
It seems completely backwards. But it seems to be working that way.
Maybe I need a job. Maybe I need to volunteer. Maybe I need to find someone to help (I am actually working on that one). Maybe I need a project that will take days and weeks, not minutes and hours.
I won't give up. I am a doctor's wife, I have tackled bigger fish. I can figure this out. Next Wednesday will be better:-)
I can't do anything with a deadline either! For example. Tomorrow at 4am DocH leaves to take part in an scientific advisory board panel. The dry cleaning has been ready for pick up for a week. I'm going today to make sure he has clean shirts for his trip. No trip? They can stay there til he runs out of shirts. :(
ReplyDeletespeaking of clean shirts.... I need to take care of that too. Maybe tomorrow:-)
DeleteLOL...I'm the same way. 8 loads of clean laundry as of Sunday, still in the baskets. Days late on things like depositing checks (yes I'm broke but I keep forgetting to swing by ATM, I've got more important things on my mind, like food)...having "plans" is a double edged sword. I get stressed out and pissed off about my deadlines but without them I am pretty worthless. I have decided summer is NOT over until my daughter starts school in a couple of weeks. I'm allowed to be a complete loser until then so long as there are clean undies and milk for everyone. Don't be so hard on yourself. This lifestyle (after a decade) will beat ANYONE down. We've worked the equivalent of 20 years in the "doctor wife" role compared to the rest of the world. I mean for crying out loud, most other people have family a stone's throw away and their husband's can actually help when they get home from work everyday by 6pm. Mom's dump their kids on "Dad" for 3 hrs in exchange for the weekly happy hour and round of golf "don't bother me" sessions. We are cut from a different cloth. Daydream all you want...you deserve it, dammit!
ReplyDeleteI like the way you think! I used to think it would be impossible to be a working mother and still take care of everything around the house. But in some way I think I could probably get more household stuff done than I do being at home all day! School starting should make a world of difference... and I always vowed to never be one of those mothers who put their kids in "stuff" but I can see how having places to go and things to do everyday keeps the day moving, and a reason to get out of the house. Too much down time has really taken its tool.
DeleteIf you get a job, make sure it's something you like with people you like. I can't get anything done without deadlines either. Being a SAHM would make me insane.
ReplyDelete