Thursday, November 3, 2011

Coming Clean

This past weekend I attended an adult only meeting that our church holds twice a year. I had the baby with me, so technically it wasn't just adults. It is hard to listen when you have an adorable baby with you. But, even with that distraction, I heard what I needed to hear.

The speaker was talking about infidelity. His main point was that infidelity isn't just physical, it also takes place when you share things with other people instead of our spouse. That person could be your girlfriends, family members, anybody. If you are keeping things from your spouse that is a form of infidelity (albeit a much lesser form, and much easier to rectify). Or at least that is what I heard.

This blog has been a wonderful haven for me, and I have enjoyed knowing that I was the only person in the entire universe who knew that it was mine. I could write and say exactly what I was feeling... so liberating. But it was something that I was hiding from my husband. Prior to this meeting, I'd had subtle promptings that I should just tell him about it, but hadn't. I didn't really know how to bring up something I'd been keeping a secret. That was probably the guilt talking.

You can imagine my husbands surprise when on our way home (the drive was 45 minutes) I said, "there is something I need to talk to you about". He was genuinely intrigued, as I would be had I just attended a meeting where they were talking about infidelity. Out it came. It was the readers digest version. The why I started one and why I didn't tell him. I usually tell him about what I write about anyway, just in fewer words and after this blog has served as a buffer and I've had time to cool off. He gets it, and was relived I was only talking about a blog.

Now he knows. He is a smart man and didn't ask the name of the blog or if he could read it. I appreciate that about him. He is a good man. I am sure he is mildly curious and at some point I may ask him if he wants to read it. Until then, I have the best of both worlds: no secrets from my husband and a place I can still spill my guts. No more sneaking around feeling:-)

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