Say "Cheese"

Its that time of year again when I start thinking about the beautiful holiday cards I want to send. They are amazing. I imagine my family all dressed up in their holiday best with their pretty faces washed and ready for their close-ups. I have the cutest family, I do. Every hair in place. Lighting perfect. And then I wake up. We have yet to have great family pictures taken, ever, and this year I had all but given up on the idea. First of all, we have yet to have a great picture taken! Second, I am beyond cheap and may not even send out cards. Don't need a picture if you aren't going to send cards.

Monday when I checked my inbox there was an offer from Sears that was too good to pass up. Free sitting fee, 5 free prints, and 1 photo on a CD with copy right release. FREE! I bet you already know where this is going. How is the Sears portrait studio still in business, I do not know! But, since I am so cheap, and since it's free, we might as well give it a try. I called and made an appointment sealing my fate. You get what you pay for - lesson learned, again.

It really isn't their fault, sort of. When you have 6 people in a photo sitting it's difficult to get them all looking and smiling in the same direction. But then there are the little things like hair getting ruffled while changing positions that needed to be smoothed. Or a nose started running and they needed a Kleenex. Or someone was kneeling when it would have looked better if they had been sitting on their knees. I appreciate the 20 year-old who was behind the camera, I know her job isn't easy but she could have helped us out a little. Give us some direction, or at least a suggestion. Don't just let us think these are going to be great!

One hour later we had ZERO pictures that we liked enough to put on a card. We have 1 photo of our family that is alright, but I look fat, so that's not going to be seen by anyone. And we have 1 photo of just our kids that is OK and maybe will be sent to the parents. They will love us anyway. But it's free, I really shouldn't complain. Free except the threats I had to make to the DrH about being available that day, the 2 hours that it took to get ready, the 1.5 hours in the studio (waiting, waiting) and the ice cream we had to buy for cooperating ... that wasn't free.

I am not kidding when I say we have yet to have a great family picture. I know we are capable of them, but I also have discovered that great family pictures come with a price. We aren't ready to pay that price yet. We need a stylist to coordinate our outfits. We need hair and makeup people. We need Photo Shop. We need an assistant to stand by fixing all our wardrobe malfunctions. Then, and only then, we might stand a chance. Maybe my list of needs is an exaggeration, but it feels that way. We aren't ugly people, but you probably won't see us on a magazine cover. One day I hope to have a decent picture of my family taken that I will proudly display for the world to see. Until then, I fear our Christmas cards may be just cards after all. Better yet, they may just be a quick email or blog entry wishing you a Merry Christmas.

Imagine my awful family picture here. Happy Holidays.