So how did it go?
I lived to write about it, and truthfully, it went off better than I imagined with only a few minor hiccups.
To solve the "bathing suit/half naked" scenario I had created we opted to forgo swimming altogether, for everyone. We just wouldn't swim. That also meant I wouldn't need to schleep (sp?) beach towels, swim gear, goggles, etc for four. I didn't want to look like we were moving in, and that is exactly what it looks like when we bring anything, anywhere. It takes a small army to get us around.
When we pull up we see a bouncy house! A bouncy house! I didn't even include that in my prayer but it was totally answered anyway. Only this bouncy house had water! Yes, water - because everything is more fun with water. Now I had three kids (because the small one doesn't know better yet) begging to get wet and telling our guest (who we were just introduced to) how we didn't bring our swimsuits.
Our hostess was amazing, and miraculously had swimsuits for all three of them that fit. And she didn't seem phased at all by our illiteracy. I would be thinking to myself "didn't they read the invitation"? If she had that thought, she didn't show it.
There were no hands in the pants, no picking noses, no tantrums, no screaming fits... it was a miracle. A Fourth of July miracle!
But of course, there had to be one gaff. And it had to happen the moment we entered the house. My son felt prompted to exclaim "is this a mansion"? As the hostess lead us upstairs to change into her children's clothing, he again had to open his mouth: "You have wood floors, just like us, but our house isn't this big. We don't have a pool. We don't have a jumping house. This is awesome."
I wish I could have frozen time for just a minute and given my son the "please don't talk about other people's houses in their presence" talk. I should be grateful he was saying something nice, unlike my daughters comment about a big booty she saw at Walmart the other day. In her defense it was seriously large, and it was hard for me not to look. But still we don't say things out loud!
I just remembered another embarrassing moment, courtesy of my son. As she lead us up to her daughters room to change my son immediately began to disrobe in front of our hostess. He displayed his 7 year old naked, full frontal, self to a complete stranger and wasn't the least bit phased by it. I apologized for his lack of modesty and assured her that we were working on it. Thank heavens she has small children.
Nothing like making an impression.
The one thing I will say (when do I ever have just one things to say about anything) is that it is difficult to work a room when you are trying to keep a responsible eye on three children who are in a swimming pool. Nothing makes me more nervous than a pool full of kids. I couldn't delegate the responsibility for life guarding my own children to anyone else... what kind of parent would I be? So DrH was on his own for a large part of the day. I was grateful I had a baby to hold and keep me company while my eyes were trained on the water.