Pray A Disaster is Adverted

Last week I was excited about our first invitation to a social event in our new city, meeting other fellows, residents, and attendings that my husband will be working with. That was last week. You only have one chance to make an impression and I am afraid we are about to blow it, and so early!

Today I am in panic mode. Forget what to wear, what to bring. I have bigger problems.

The picture I have created in my head doesn't exist. I saw it, I did. It was there. And for a moment I actually believed it.  My children: clean faces, teeth brushed, clothes pressed, hair combed, using napkins as they were intended, well behaved. AHHHHHH!

For the last three months we (I) have let our offspring run wild. Literally, wild. My parents live in the country where they could run out the door and play for hours without worry for their safety or need to provide entertainment. They entertained themselves with sticks, bugs, trees, grass, rocks, lizards, etc. I let things like naps, baths, and reading time fall by the wayside in favor of adventure, games, bare feet, and pure fun.

It is time to be structured and raise our expectations. It is time to get back to the way it used to be.

Problem is we haven't had time to do that yet. It will take a couple more weeks before they are back into a routine that is predictable and reliable and ready for public appearances. We are still getting used to a new time zone and home. I will use that excuse for as long as I can pull it off.

In the meantime, I need to pray. Pray that my son will keep his hands out of his pants. That my daughter won't tell her dirty potty jokes, that the other one won't pick her nose, and that my baby will suddenly stop throwing fits the minute she doesn't get her way. She has entered the 12-18 month phase where just because she can get around she feels she is entitled to do whatever she wants, when ever she wants. There isn't much hope for us tomorrow.

I am contemplating calling a friend that has small pets for some sedatives. Would anyone notice if my children were oddly lethargic in the middle of the afternoon? I wouldn't, but the thought briefly crossed my mind (just in case you were getting ready to call the authorities).

I forgot that there would be swimming. That means swimming suits, and I haven't been to the gym in 4 months! I forgot that my kids would most certainly want to swim so one of us has to get in the water, because they will be impossible to deal with if they don't get to swim. It doesn't seem fair that the first time I meet people that I will need to be half-dressed. My body doesn't tan, except for my arms, face and the tops of my feet. The rest of my body is resistant to tanning. It isn't pretty.

Pray for me, send good vibes, think white light, light a candle..... I am going to need it.

Note to self: If I ever host a get together where people are going to meet for the first time there will NOT be swimming, but there will be a great big bouncy house where the kids will stay and scream till they pass out from sheer exhaustion.