This following post was from July 17, 2011. In light of my post last week about the thank you card I didn't want to write, it seems God is trying to tell me something. Maybe I should listen.
It's time for a little gratitude and some reality, too.
I have been blessed with good parents and in-laws. My mother was here for 23 days and my father for 10 days entertaining my three children so I could take care of our newborn and my own recovery. We are three weeks out and I am feeling much better. My in-laws came in on Friday and will be here for another two weeks. Their visits are always a blessing to us.
Perhaps I am more grateful because we don't see them very often. I wonder if my sisters and sister-in-law, who have constant interactions with their parents, realize how good they have it. Probably not. The only way to appreciate what you have is to live with it's absence. Not just for a weekend, but for months and years. We really appreciate them!
I am particularly grateful because they are here for me, even if they think they are here for the grandkids. It has been 8 days since I last left the house and probably that long since I last put on make-up or blow-dried/styled my hair! It's not pretty, but it is clean. Their first day here my father-in-law asked for a grocery list and took my son to Sam's club and came back with copious amounts of delicious foods. We will not be running out of corn dogs any time soon!
Today is Sunday and they took the kids to church, yeah! The baby is napping and I've been able to catch up on some phone calls, and of course this blog. As we were getting ready I was already thinking ahead to two weeks from now when the responsibility of getting 4 kids and myself ready for church is mine alone. How is that going to happen? It's a good thing we have afternoon church at 1 pm, if it were any earlier I doubt we would make it before it was over.
This weekend has been a rough one for the doctor in our house. He was/is on call this weekend and he has been busy. He worked all day Friday and then had one of the junior residents take his call for a few hours so he could pick up his parents at the airport. On the way back from the airport he was called in. He took his parents to the ER while he evaluated a patient. They got home at 10:30 pm. He was home that night for an hour before being called back out. I think he slept maybe 5 hours that night.
First thing Saturday he was back at the hospital at 6 am, had two cases, and didn't get home until 7:00 pm. He had dinner with us, and then was called back to the hospital. He didn't get home until 12:30 am. I think he slept maybe 4 hours that night. Early this morning he had a call from the hospital about the patient he saw the previous night. He left at 5:30 am and we haven't seen him since.
I was worried about him about 10:30 this morning and called his cel phone only to get his nurse who confirmed that he would be in surgery for another hour. I have a feeling things haven't gone well. It is several hours later and still we haven't heard from him. I think he has seen his parents for a total of 4 hours (and that may even be too generous an estimate) over the last 48 hours.
I am still worried for him. He hasn't slept, he is exhausted. At the same time, I am so glad that his parents are here to keep me company, entertain my kids, help with the house and the grocery shopping. And I'm also glad that they get to see what our life is. People have a tendency to forget when they can't see what it looks like, what it feels like. It isn't always this way, but it is often enough that it has become normal for us. I am also glad they are here because I don't know how I would manage the demands of a newborn and my three kids alone right now. I am worried/terrified about how I am going to do it when they leave in two weeks.
But today I am trying my hardest to just be grateful that they are here and not worry so much about what will happen when they are gone.
Now I feel bad for being so hard on them. They have been good to me, I need to remember that.
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I have often done this on my blog... My conclusions are different though. My situation with my in-laws is very different than your situation though. On some levels we have similar complaints: we live far away and other siblings with their kids live close by and it seems like we are not appreciated as much and I certainly don't feel like "family" but what does that matter since my husband hasn't ever felt like "family" in his own family...sad for sure. The conclusions I have come to with my blog are that the more things change the more they stay the same. We recently had a huge leap forward in our marriage and our situation with my in-laws. Sometimes we (as the person marrying into the family) are in control of making things better and being appreciative and sometimes we just don't have a choice but to be upset about the latest rip off or what have you. There was a time when my in-laws were quite helpful. Kind of like your post above. When my first child was born. That won't be the case with the second child who is due soon. I can only hope I've got an angel watching over me who will help me get through my own L&D as quickly as possible and back on my feet as quickly as possible. I'm realizing neither my mother nor my in-laws are equipped or capable of being helpful this time around. Thanks residency, right?!
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate re: having a newborn while the husband works long hours. I am a wife of a Physician Assistant, and I am guilty of requesting him not to take paternal leave following the birth of our baby this past August (so that he could take it at a later time when the baby is old enough to travel to see my side of the family). Poor guy.
ReplyDeleteI too know how it feels to be glad that our relatives and in-laws get to see how crazy things can get at home...especially since I recently became a stay-at-home mom. At least we can both be thankful that we have very supportive parents and in-laws.
PS. I discovered your blog last week while searching for blogs about husband and wife both being MDs (since my husband and I are planning on attending med school together). I have been entertained and enlightened ever since. I am glad the chapter is almost over for you and that you are about to embark on yet another journey after Fellowship.
Meanwhile, I hope that you and your family are staying clear of Hurricane Sandy's path.
Aloha,
From those living on Ohana Street in Hawaii
http://ohanastreet.blogspot.com