"So, what are you doing this weekend?"
Do most people ask that because they really want to know what we do with our weekend? Or do they ask because they want to tell us what they do on the weekend? Do weekend plans tell others something about you that they can't ascertain through other questions? Is it one of those questions you have to ask before you can ask the question you really want to ask?
What would this response say about me?
"Well, Saturday I will probably go grocery shopping. Sunday we have church. Well, that's about it. By the time Saturday comes around we are exhausted and don't want to do anything."
If the husband isn't working at the hospital, Saturday is the day he tries to catch up on everything - including sleep. The last thing he wants to do is anything that requires effort. Physical effort is perfectly fine. It is the social effort that he doesn't have the mental strength for.
We are homebodies through and through.
When we have made plans on a weekend we always regret it. Yes, we like other people. We just happen to like the ones living under our own rented roof better.
Lol, thats cute, must be hard, being a docs wife, in his mind he must be at work
ReplyDeleteI don't think they are capable of turning it off. There is always something to do, prepare for, anticipate... it never ends.
DeleteI like the weekend - it's the time my husband hangs with our son AND does the dishes. It's a sad, sad life I lead. :-) And, in my opinion, people ask b/c they want to tell you what they're doing. We're human. Bragging is like breathing.
ReplyDeleteWhen my husband asks what he can help me with my response is usually just play with the kids. Entertaining them the rest of the week is a full-time job.
DeleteI usually only ask that if I like the person and want to see if our plans mesh so we can get together. Most of the time I have no plans. And like you I regret planning something with friends no matter how dear they are to me. Hermits are we!
ReplyDeleteYeah for Hermits!
DeleteAhh I'm the homebody- it's my husband who always wants to get out and do things every minute of the weekend!! I just wanna relax, buddy! Maybe go to dinner with friends one night, but that's about all I can muster...you're right- it's not about physical activity- it's the pressure to be "social!"
ReplyDeletePlus if you go out you have to get out of your pajamas and take a shower. That is a lot of work:-)
DeletePeople who know us have stopped asking. It's always the same. . . Doc H is either: catching up on sleep, on call, or writing a talk. And me? Chauffeuring, cooking, and beating teens into submission.
ReplyDeleteWe are still in the meeting new people stage and since we have advertised that we are only here for a year (now 12 months) we have pretty much escaped too many invites or inquiries.... who wants to start up a friendship with a couple who won't even be here for the next Fourth of July Fireworks and BBQ?
DeleteThat's so sad! They should still invite you... I would, because as docs, you just never know when your paths will cross again and they need to network. I can't tell you how many times, I've not gone out of my way to get to know someone, and then wouldn't you know it.... somewhere down the line, I need that person's help for something.
DeleteHi! My first time here -- it's Jayme, and my husband is a radiation oncology resident at Stanford. We have a little boy, Alex, who is 7 months old. I think people probably ask about the weekend because they are trying to find out how you spend your leisure time; it's a little less awkward than "what do you do for fun?" But, I'm with you on the answer. Ben's on call this weekend, so we're doing a whole lot of nothing. I'm looking forward to cleaning the house. Woo! We go crazy at my house!
ReplyDeleteWelcome Jayme - thanks for commenting! Ah, cleaning the house - the chore that never ends. I have been trying to get the house in weekend clean mode before Saturday so just in case we decide to go crazy and vary our routine we are ready. Most of the time we just enjoy having a clean house and a good nap.
DeleteWeekends for childless married couples are basically mini-honeymoons.
ReplyDeleteOur weekends have been spent hosting/going to dinner parties, movies, browsing at stores we cannot possibly afford to shop at, blueberry/assorted fruit picking, and being completely unreasonable. Jokes on us when we won't be able to do that anymore!
LOL Mini Honeymoons! You are right:-) Enjoy it while you can - I am completely jealous I don't think I could pay my husband to go window shopping unless it was for cars or expensive watches.
DeleteAll these responses make me feel normal! I can't even remember how my husband and I spent the weekends before children. I don't think it was much different than it is now. Mow the lawn, take a nap, maybe get take-out. We have always lived the low-key life style I suppose somethings will never change.
ReplyDeleteI read this to my husband. His response after every pause: uh, huh... After spending the day doing chores (the physical kind- 10 hours to be exact including an early morning trip to IKEA--great place to go btw on weekend mornings early- kids' food $1--eggs, french toast, meat, etc I digress) and a few "discussions" about how these chores were stressing him out he agrees...physical chores are so much more manageable than socializing. Our street was having an impromptu block party and we avoided it--always do. We do not like other people usually (I hate to admit that bc then it makes me sound like a snob). Who can relate to being grateful for a low key home call weekend? Who can relate to being grateful "just to cook dinner together" without the pager going off all night? Who can relate to appreciating watching a DVR show with the kids quiet, napping and giving you a moment of PEACE AND SILENCE?! I reckon every time I express such joy over such simple things I'm quite certain people think I'm bonafide NUTZ. And to be honest- I'm not nuts, I'm really NORMAL, SMART and tougher than 99% of mom's/wives/women/men I know. This life beats us down but let me tell you...in a few years when we are done with residency and paying back loans and have a good nest egg...i'm going to rock it like it's 1999 (and I rocked it in 1999---that's how OLD I really am!)
ReplyDeleteI hope we still are exchanging blog comments when that blessed day comes. I want to know how to rock it like it's 1999 - maybe you could guest post:-)
DeleteSigh, a more regular question for me would be 'Are you on call this weekend?'
ReplyDeleteDouble sigh. Too bad call seems to be part of the gig.
DeleteHi Jane:)
ReplyDeleteI agree that weekends before kids were Mini-Honeymoons. Now it is the Honey-do weekend. We are both so exhausted by the weekend we just rock paper scissor it in bed to see who gets up with the kids! How old do kids have to be before you can leave them to fend for themselves to get their own cereal in the morning?
When you find out the answer let me know. I am hoping that maybe 8 is the answer, and that maybe that 8 year old could get his younger sisters cereal too!
DeleteMy husband and I and one of our two sons are like this - we want the weekends to be a time to decompress, not to run around doing all kinds of social activities. Sometimes I feel vaguely guilty about that, or like something is wrong with us. But we are perfectly normal (well, reasonably normal!), well-adjusted people - we just like to hang out at home or with each other.
ReplyDeleteGaye @ Calm.Healthy.Sexy.