Lest I be perceived as a selfish, negative, pessimistic wife let me say that I am not. Who would admit to that anyway. My husband routinely tells me that I am not nearly as bad as some of the other residents wives and I believe him!
Not all residencies have the same grueling hours, it depends on the specialty. Not all residencies have the same amount of call. Not all residencies take quite this long. Not all residences lead to fellowships. Then again few residents have a wife AND 4 kids!
What is a woman supposed to do when her husband picks one of the longest specialities, Neurosurgery (6 years), and then suggests the possibility of doing a fellowship for another 1 or 2 years? Can she say no, I am done now. Of course not. I am a supportive wife and we'll do whatever we need to do. I can't imagine anything worse than being married to someone who didn't like what they were doing, or worse yet, harbored some unspoken resentment that he wasn't able to cure brain tumors because his wife was the weak link. That I am not. I will go wherever, and do whatever it takes, I just won't lie about it.
I think that has been where some of my pent up emotions have stemmed from. Putting up a strong exterior for our family and friends for the last 5 years has been exhausting! It feels good to finally tell the truth in all it's glory. To get this out in the open, even though for the present time this blog is available only to me, but it still feels good.
I talked with my husband today who is presently in Cleveland interviewing for a fellowship position. He tells me that they would need to know up front if he wants to do 1 or 2 years. Cleveland happens to be two states to the east further from our family. That isn't the direction I wanted to move, but if it is where we end up, I'll put on my happy face and stay as long as needed. Because one day this too shall pass.