Since I haven't told anyone about this blog, a big welcome to myself!
The Big Idea
Last night I had a dream. The dream was most likely prompted by my curious research in the middle of the night as I was waiting for my husband to finish a shift that would ultimately be 16 hours. I thought to myself "I wonder what the divorce rate is among residents in the surgical field?" Not that I am thinking about a divorce, I am certainly not, but on nights like this it made me realize it might be tempting for someone. You might ask, "what about the kids"? Well they don't see their dad now, would it really be any different. So I started poking around and found a few blogs and websites that talked about the difficulties of being married to a resident and read those until my resident came home. At which point I pretended to be asleep. It was almost 11:00 pm so I should have been asleep anyway. But there is something wrong with that! I will be the first to admit that the last 5 years of residency have taken a toll on all of us.
I have a personal blog that I update for our family and friends. That blog is dedicated to the kids. It isn't exactly the place to vent about the difficulties of being married to a doctor. That almost sounds like an oxymoron, doesn't it? Being married to a doctor, isn't that what every little girl wants? Doesn't that almost guarantee you a wonderful life? Through this journey I've discovered that the vast number of people have no idea what it takes to become a doctor, or what it takes out of a person being married to one. They can't comprehend the hours, the absence, the loneliness, the financial strain. I can't even completely explain it, but I am going to try. It's an experience that can only be appreciated by someone who has walked in those shoes.
So this is going to be MY PLACE where I can complain, vent, and pour out my frustration without the judgement of family or friends. I swear if I hear one more time that "eventually this will all be worth it" I might strangle someone. There is no sympathy for the doctors wife. And I'm not a negative person, really. My conclusion is that I must make it look too easy, but how else am I supposed to cope? Maybe if I looked haggard and worn-out people would believe that it's a rough journey.
If you happen to be the spouse of a doctor, leave a comment. I'd love to connect with other spouses who know what it is like or want to know what to expect if you are just getting started. If you are a family member of a doctor, be good to them. They need your emotional support.