I remember when my DrH was first starting out he would tell me that Neurosurgeons were really a bunch of arrogant jerks. At the time I was certain that it was true and that it would never happen to my DrH, and it hasn't. But, I have seen a change in him.
It is difficult to pinpoint exactly what the change is. Confidence? There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. I want my surgeon to be confident. For that matter I want my husband (not in Dr. mode) to be confident. Confidence is a positive trait, arrogance is not.
Confidence = Good
a) a feeling of consciousness of one's own powers or of reliance on ones circumstances
b) faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper, or effective way
c) the quality or state of being certain
Arrogance = Bad
a) an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions.
I have often wondered how much of a persons confidence or arrogance is just a matter of perception. Being in charge while in the OR immediately puts you in a position of authority. It seems that people in authority get the label "arrogant" more often than others. I want my surgeons hands to be confident. I want him to act decisively. I want his instincts to be trusted. I want those under his supervision to be quick to act.
Humble
a) not proud or haughty
Proud
a) having or displaying excessive self-esteem
I have never seen my DrH in the operating room, and I don't know that I want to. I would be nervous if he were watching me at my Zumba class, shaking it and working my stuff. However, I would like to see his command of the OR, in a fly on the wall sort of way. The feedback I get from the nurses we run into out and about, indicate that not only is he confident and capable, he is also humble and modest. Good thing because he is about to join the real world.
I need to ask him again if he thinks Neurosurgeons are a bunch of arrogant jerks. My guess is that he wouldn't think they are so much now. Is that because he is becoming more like them? Well, yes and no.
The difference of confidence and ego is clearly visible in their bedside manner. It will be evident to a patient during their first consult. All surgeons have egos. Let's face it - what they do is pretty amazing stuff! So, the question is whether it a healthy ego which help boost their confidence and hold command of the OR when a case goes sideways or is it overbearing and just plain ugly? I'm very interested to hear what your DrH has to say about it all now!
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