I am in the middle of reading a book, otherwise known as ignoring the house projects I have going on at the moment and trying to forget that I have to do them in the first place!
Have you ever read a book and thought that the author had climbed inside your head and knew exactly what you were thinking? It happened for the first time with this book: "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin. Although, it might as well be written by me .... she and I are like the same person (but we aren't). I highly recommend her book and a peek at her blog http://www.happiness-project.com/
The premise of the book is her search for more happiness over 12 months in the tradition of Eat, Pray, Love - only she does it all from her own home, because isn't that where we all live anyway. She reads all the literature on the subject and composes her strategy by theme/month and then sets out to see if it really does make her happier..
Her goals for January are some of mine: go to sleep earlier, exercise better, organize, etc. And we have similar goals for the other months too! As I am reading I stumbled across something that summed up some of my experiences with this medical journey that seems to never end. It is the concept of Gold Stars. I like the sound of that much more than martyrdom.
Every now and again (probably more often that I admit) I just want someone to come along and say "hey, you are doing a great job" or "wow, you are amazing", or "I don't know how you do it", or any number of phrases that basically say that same thing. Don't get me wrong, people do say it. You say it. People who really know very little about me, other than I am married to a resident, say it. I am looking for the people that I love to say it. I am looking for my parents, my in-laws, my siblings, to give me some credit. Just writing that makes me feel a tad self-absorbed, I don't think I am. Those little gold stars are like fuel for my engine. But, unlike a car I am not going to broadcast when my tank is running empty. I am not going to ask for gold stars, or even tell anyone I know that I need them. I don't do what I do for the gold stars, I just wish they came more often to help lift my spirits.
And then the moment comes when I realize I do not do a very good job of handing out those gold stars myself. If I know how good they feel to receive them, why don't I give them out more often. I can't remember the last time I gave one to my husband or my children. I am not the only one making sacrifices, they are too!
Thank you for reading my blog. Thank you for leaving your comments. Thank you for sharing this part of my life with me, a complete stranger. Thank you for what you share with me through your own blogs. Thank you for letting me know that I am not alone. I think you are amazing. I don't know how you do it, but it is easier for me knowing that you do. I appreciate you. I value your virtual friendship.